A shadow you were to me.
Surrounded by visages,
Yet I am all alone.
Voices echo,
Yet I do not hear.
Your bleak embrace is
Just a memory,
It happened so long ago.
I wish for your hand,
I wish for your love-
Yet it has slipped from my grasp
Like sand through feeble fingers.
Hours come and pass
As I await your return.
When will you return to me?
I lie, dying and frail-
For whispers devour
My deepest of thoughts.
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Written on February 17th, 2009.
-Sadien-
Author notes
Well. I don't want to explain this because if I do, I'll go on forever. So interpret it how you like.
Leave nice criticism please.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is really beautiful..
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I really like the layout to this poem, the contrastof the background and font colour gave a nice tone. I really love the ending I think it was done very very well.
Brilliant write
Laura
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well firstly i should say that i like ur 'i write what i like attitude' its cool and sexy and this is not a comment its just a thumbs up for something i like and i wuld love to be part of your fam...... keep writting
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//Giggles at Rose's use of "swell."//
But, yes. All joking aside, I can really relate to this piece. Perhaps not for the same reasons that you wrote it, but a part of me is always... almost wishing I was back in Florida, as horrible as that sounds. I think a tiny bit of myself misses the attention - even if it was negitive.... Because, for all the bullshit that went on down there, I did care about a select few and I hope that they've made a better life for themselves; if that makes any sense x3
Your words captivate and intrigue, as always, love. Keep up with the emotionssss.... That made no sense, but yeah. =( /scuttled away.//
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i dig it
nicely put it captures the agony in mundane waiting for something that ain't coming
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This reminds me of your journal post, though I can't be sure if that's what it's about or not.
You portray a lot of shrill imagery in this piece and a longing that I'm sure many of us are familiar with in one way or another. It's generally filled with a bittersweet sadness of memories that were once fully of joy now tainted by the tragic occurrences that somehow changed all of that. At least, that's what I get from this piece.
You've done a swell job at expressing yourself here, hon', but don't forget that there are people around you who are willing to listen if you just give them half a chance.
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I know. I'm glad I've got you as a friend.
I was trying to portray my feelings in a My Dying Bride-ish feel. I've been listening to them a lot lately and just fell in love with how sorrowful their music is. -
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Your AP mom shall always be looking out for you.
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