sick

from the minute i saw
i knew.
and even now
i cant get through

why did this have to happen to me

you live your life
all the same
but you never notice
whats it's doing to me

i act like its all fine
why do you think its called "act"?
because i never get
the attention i want from you
even a simple "hello" would work
but instead i get a glare
a glare that only cuts me deeper

on the outside, im your normal kid
on the inside
is all cuts and scars, from what you have done to me
if only they could see
they would call me insane
its not an obsession
i swear
its only your fault
i love to hate you
but even more
i hate to love you
as much as i do
theres nothing i can do

im pressured into it
but know you would hate me more if i did
and so would they
i try and hide; run away
but something pulls me back
why cant i do it
i want to run
the scars and burns
scream your name
and i cant do a thing
it haunts me terribly
and i knew i could have acted before
if i had the chance
but who knew; it was all up to you

it makes me sick
to hear, to see
so how do i deal
i dont, im just the simple backup
maybe its
the reason of my depression

tho i hate being used
so easily
i love that im used by the few
the ones that love me
but hate me more
so make up your mind
im halfway out the door

it makes me sick to even think about it