She left
me, faster
than I remembered.
Night and starlight
swirling in tornadoes,
clutching her skirt,
dodging her footsteps,
she left.
In the fog
where morning is
an insult to living,
I stumbled downstairs.
Her ballet slippers forgotten
on the table, twinkling,
the sun fingered them.
I wiped them to the floor.
Memory erased.
Made coffee.
Burnt toast.
Cursed her
the night before.
Sat down at the table
found the stub from the play
coyly peeking from under the saucer.
Tried not to look back. Stabbed
the jar of blackberry jam .
Spread shadows across my hand.
School year book
still
open, Susan --
bright and cheerful,
home coming queen.
She couldn’t let me forget,
we had broken up the night before.
Somethings never die, they rot
in a corner of the soul ‘til you spill
them onto anyone you can find.
Toast didn’t cut it. My stomach
still sour from too much drink.
She wasn’t ever supposed to show.
Changed states,
changed careers,
followed my stars
instead of her plans for us.
She knew me before I knew her.
Opened my heart, when I thought
it was locked shut. I picked up
my rosary. Began
to say Hail Mary’s.
Penance
for having started
to dream
again.
6:06 PM
02/17/09
Alexandria, VA
Author notes
Nothing personal in this. Had friends go through this, cried on my shoulder. It's a soap opera, but I am always amazed by how many lives are. Bah!
Items used: Ballet slippers, ticket stub, blackberry jam, school year book, Rosary.
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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You did well with the prompts and the story (memory) is touched with your signature style...melancholy, romance, and beautiful imagery. Thank you for entering.
love, lane
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It is not because I am Catholic. I am just a Friend. No one has ever put my style into words before. I, truly , appreciate the discription. This plays with the more dramatic edge because of the sense of tragedy. Perhaps, that plays to the melancholia. Don't know. The hardest thing to see is the self that others reflect upon. Glad you enjoyed, if enjoy you did.
Love, Tom B.
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Wow!
\Never trust a ballet dancer (I was married to one)
Good work!
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Always be careful about fulfilling childhood dreams. Adult realities to often lick the frosting away quickly and leave truths exposed we never wanted to look at. Thanks for the bunnies and the pleasure expressed at my attempt at poetry.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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This poem sounds like hurt
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Sometimes, memories are easier kept when unanswered.
Love,Tom B.
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this was amazing and held so much emotion in it.
sad and yet with the sadness shines something,
that all are human and things don't always work out
as planned.
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We react emotionally, find reasons for it after the fact, her high spirited exit, his emotional conflicts, the love unresolved, at least on his side. Yes, it is sad, because they don't know how to deal with the emotional conflict. But, as you have said, all too, too terribly human.
Thanks for the review.
Love, Tom B.
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i really enjoyed this, so dramatic and all. good write, the poem read so well.
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One of my darker pieces. Thanks, glad you enjoyed.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Those that go in and out of our lives never acknowledging they keep raw the space always open to them. This was a write so easy to follow, so fluid with feeling in that which was left unsaid.
Blue
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So much of life can become melodrama. I hoped to avoid that and capture how our lives play against each other. We write our responses and reactions little knowing what is going on in the person on the other side. Thanks for the kind comments.
Love, Tom B.
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I must say this is so vividly done, like watching a scene from the " Days Of Our Lives" you truly have an eye for life, people and love....I feel the obsrevance you gave your friends in each line.. another excellent free verse and well balanced read.........nice flow....I just imagine you reading this one out loud.......novy
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I tried to not be too melodramatic, or to over wrought, keep it simple and direct so every reader can feel themselves in such a spot. I am glad you enjoyed it, you have a good eye and sense of this sort of poem. Thanks.
Love, Tom B.
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This is beautifully written. Each line holds something new for the reader, some other stab of pain. I don't think you could change anything in this, as it flows perfectly and each word belongs so well.
Holly. -
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Thanks. I wanted to capture the regrets, the bitterness, the memories. We are such a mixture of past and present. I tried not to be maudlin or overly melodramatic. I hope I succeeded.
Love, Tom B.
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She left
me, faster
than I remembered.
Night and starlight
swirling in tornadoes,
clutching her skirt,
dodging her footsteps,
she left.
In the fog
where morning is
an insult to living,
I stumbled downstairs.
Her ballet slippers forgotten
on the table, twinkling,
the sun fingered them.
I wiped them to the floor
memory erased
That is my favorite part out of it all. Keep writing this is so good I can't think of anything that should be changed.
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very good poem
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Toast didn’t cut it. My stomach
still sour from too much drink.
She wasn’t ever supposed to show.
Changed states,
changed careers,
followed my stars
instead of her plans for us.
She knew me before I knew her.
Opened my heart, when I thought
it was locked shut. I picked up
my rosary. Began
to say Hail Mary’s.
Penance
for having started
to dream
again.
my fav part/ -
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Thanks.
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This is very good
its very touching
Loved the words heart taking,
you realy can write
its amazingly awesome.
Well done
xoXO-
vivian ^_~
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Thanks, this is darker and a little more bitter than my usual style. Still it was an interesting challenge to get those objects on to a table in a way that made sense. Glad you enjoyed.
Love, Tom B.
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Played the fool all too often. I think we have all been there ourselves or have with our friends at some point or another. Sucks...no matter how you look at it. Fine penning my friend, as always. ~Sie
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Thanks. I don't do dark often, but this one seemed to go that way on its own.
You are right, we have all been there.
Love, Tom B.
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Gripping, a private moment of bitterness and regret. Many wonderful lines here, "the sun fingered the." Soaps are for others, our pain is real
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When I worked with teenagers, I used to tell them that personal pain is always the greatest, because it is immediate and we are feeling it. Glad you enjoyed the images.
Love,
Tom B.
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Something about the way...
this starts. Simple and inviting... so where do you go?
You don't, you let yourself evaporate into each word before the next one brings you back into life and after the last stanza become brand new. I feel new after reading this.
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Something about the way
you see me and pick what to say to include me. I find the man at the bottom of the stairs is different than the one that reaches the top. I am glad to hear you give me what you got.
Love,
Tom B.
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Its amazing that you took something like this which is impersonal and gave it a personal streak. Everything from the yearbook to the tasteless toast seemed planned like wordplay in revised manuscript.
This was a great write with a good message behind it - one that many people can relate to as you pointed out
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The contest was to see items on a table, five of the ten she had listed and create a poem. I kept them all on the table. It made it more challenging to create a story around them and make it poetic in imagery and impact. Hopefully, Lane will think I have succeeded.
Love, Tom B.
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lol.. AS THE WORLD TURNS... and turns and turns..lol
This is brillant, and heart wrenching. I love the drama in your words, it is certainly expressed with creativity beyond so many others I have read. A great piece by you... spreading the jam over hands... a splendid metaphor to say the least. I love it.
Thank God you write... thank God for your inspiration... friends are hard to come by, especially those that inspire us so easily.
Love you.
More.
MEl
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There is a moment in the aftermath when all the emotions are slamming into each other. I tried to capture this. Glad you find me inspiring. I try to bring a little light to the human condition.
Love, Tom B.
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phew an emotional write, many have been through such as this and have the scars to prove it, i am happy it was not from personal experience but saddened that someone did
another very good write though my friend i have been the shoulder but i have also been the one to leave the tear stains but the world turns and life goes on, we live but we dont always learn where memories are concerned 
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woulda and coulda mixed with regret is a powerful potion. The worse thing about this is, how many of us go through it to learn not to go there again. The best thing about it is, we are deeper and more tender human beings for the experience and have a chance to be more loving to those who care about us.
Love, Tom B.
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Very well written....lots of emotion in this one, I'd say!
Oh, the times that friends have cried on my shoulder...geez!!!
A fine piece; you should be proud
All the best!
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Thanks. I wanted to capture her high dudgen and his conflicted suppressed emotional state. Glad you enjoyed it.
Love, Tom B.
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Beautifully written ....Sigh~ I would have never known that it wasn't a personal story...So filled with emotion and great metaphor...
You are awesome, Bro!
Lynda
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I moved so often as a navy brat, I just don't have those long term connections. A few now later in life, but when I was younger ...
Thanks for sharing your joy.
Love, Tom B.
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I chuckled at you AN's. If I wrote a book on my life no one would believe it was true.
I suppose, it's the dramas that keep us going lol, hoping things will calm down but at least with dramas we know we are still alive.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts
Juls
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I certainly have my own soap opera. Whether done for attention or produced by the person you are with so they can have the spot light, they occur all the time. I have come to learn that often they describe where we have gotten stuck in life. Why stuck? Because when we become predictable and our problems tend to be all of the same type, it is a perfect example of being stuck in a rut and not growing. I am running on. Thanks for stopping by and the comment.
Love, Tom B. -
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I kicked the rut and made a run for it...
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