The hours are slower, slower now
I know the reasons
but can't tell you why
The nights are longer, longer still
and sleep patterns jumbled
and I can't tell you why
I sleep longer, more deeply now
reality mingling into fantasy
I know the reasons
but can't tell you why
We fight, accuse
I cry, I break down
rinse and repeat
Maybe things are better
Kept quiet.
I try to clean, brighten my thoughts
but end up crying again
The days seem dull and bleak
and I feel I can't open up
or speak
and still can't tell you why
I'm a flower
with loose, but vibrant
petals
The sun is blocked
life is choked
and still...
I can't tell you why
You can't see
and only hear
have a troubled heart
clouded eyes
your heart can't hear
your ears are open
but your heart is not
You jeer
and prove to me
how deep your thorns
can cut
We open an old, festering
wound.
It bleeds continuously
with no sign of cure
my well-meaning sister
stares in shock and
bewildered, says,
"I don't know the cause
and wish I could tell, wish
I could cure you."
but she doesn't know why
nor understands
its meaning
She only sees with a logical,
unemotional mind.
Through clouded eyes
they see
Through thorned and troubled
hearts they bleed
Through predisposed and
expecting ears they hear
Through calculating minds
they jeer
Stumbling to harsh conclusions
false accusations
astounding judgments
the rain never ceases
and the battle only
continues.
Through clouded eyes
they see
Through thorned and troubled
hearts they bleed
Through expecting and critical
ears they hear
Through calculating minds
they adhere
and brush aliens aside
I can tell you why
but you cease to understand
the underlying meaning
the emotions at hand
It takes a quiet and
calm mind
a heart with the purest
of intentions
the most positive reflections
the most well-meaning judgments
to finally see clearly
through the dark clouds
to the sun
A kind ear
A thoughtful word
An open mind
A passionate soul
opens up my world
The sun, a ray of light
and then blooming, transformation
and finally peace
I can't tell you the
reasons why
though I know
you yearn to hear them
What it requires
is something you will never have
an emotional, overly caring
and understanding soul
even in the darkest places
a light can shine down
I know the reasons,
you know them
but you will never understand
why.
There is a flower
that hasn't been watered
Since the battle begun
it's the flower's turn
to grow and show
its beauty and potential
Even in the darkest places
it knows why.
If only flowers could sing
then maybe you'd know
and if only its wilted petals
could reach out
into your hearts
Through clouded eyes
you strain to see
Through troubled hearts
you still bleed
Through your ears
you strain to put assumptions aside
Through harsh minds
you try to renavigate
old routes and open up
new thoughts
The flower sings
it blooms and grows
it becomes only more beautiful
The sun comes out
and nearby
There is the purest, white swan
swimming in a clear
aquamarine pond
with a crystallized waterfall
flowing into the water below
waiting to burst forth
with new life and energy
and the most brilliant
potential
Truly the most holy sight
and it escapes notice.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Great reasonings behind why you couldn't say why. good write
♥
whisper
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Thank you very much.
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This poem blew my mind. This was absolutely amazing. Quite easily one of the best poems I have read in a while. You put into words exactly what I'm thinking in those first stanzas. You express all of this so unbelievably well, I can't even tell you how much I loved this.
My favorite part:
"Through clouded eyes
they see
Through thorned and troubled
hearts they bleed
Through predisposed and
expecting ears they hear
Through calculating minds
they jeer"
I also loved how you organized it. It was genius in the beginning when you get the feeling that the writer really doesn't know, and then in the middle it transitions to the difficulty of communication between the now-knowing writer and who he wants to express this to, and then it transitions again into the acceptance that they'll never know, and that it is perfectly fine.
It's almost as if the writer has discovered themselves throughout the course of this poem.
Absolutely breathtaking. Great job.
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Thank you so much! I applaud you for your comments. I believe some of the best poetry comes from personal pain. I wrote this during a time when I felt so lost and you described perfectly what I was going through (and am still going through now):
"I also loved how you organized it. It was genius in the beginning when you get the feeling that the writer really doesn't know, and then in the middle it transitions to the difficulty of communication between the now-knowing writer and who he wants to express this to, and then it transitions again into the acceptance that they'll never know, and that it is perfectly fine.
It's almost as if the writer has discovered themselves throughout the course of this poem. "
Yes, this is exactly what the poem is about. You are very insightful. Thanks again! ^_^
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this poem has great emotion and certainly has a story to tell. you conveyed the emotion well, especially in the beginning stanzas. but, near the middle and end you lost me a little bit, so you might want to shorten it. i liked how there was the certain fantasy stanzas, i thought it fit well, because it's kind of like the person in the story's escape... their fantasy. great poem!
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Thank you very much! I am so glad you enjoyed it and am equally grateful for your tips on improving this poem. I have been taking my writing more seriously, so this really means a lot. I appreciate your kindness, generosity, and your diplomacy.
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Strong beginning!
There is a strong beginning to this piece. It is clearly deeply fely, meaningful. I especially like the repetition in the first three stanzas. Thereafter, I felt that it lost something - momentum? direction?
But then, I love these lines very much, good choices, very strong image:
'I'm a flower
with loose, but vibrant
petals
The sun is blocked
life is choked
and still...
I can't tell you why'
I almost felt that there were two poems here, one a brief and very tight piece...'Can't tell you why' and then a dreamlike, fantasy piece culminating in the final lines.
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Thank you! Your comment helps me very much when editing this one and writing future poems. That's interesting that you say it has two poems in it because I get that feeling too. I think I need to shorten it and revise it so that it doesn't lose direction. Your thoughts were very helpful to me and I am glad you enjoyed it.
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Similar sensibilities...
You are most welcome. I feel an affinity with your style, which echoes some of my poems - there is a poem (or two poems) I have been writing for several months - Cassiopeia in the Garden that I keep trying to split then rejoin. Some of it is similar in feel to 'I can't tell you why'. One of the lines I do feel happy with says...
'We live alone inside ourselves, and with the world.'
I did really enjoy your poem and am so glad you took my comments in the spirit in which they were given. -
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Thank you for your kind words. I feel our poetry is similar in style as well. I bookmarked one of your poems and I will return the favor by giving you one of my comments. I like deep poems that explore emotions through nature, like with Robert Frost poems. I have recently become a big fan.
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