My orchard heart
was uncultivable -
a barren wasteland
with blackened stumps
and snarly roots snaking along
the ashen ground -
all consumed
and abandoned.
But you discovered
this secret bed of desolation
and dug through the layers
of frost, ash and hard-packed Earth,
sunk your hands into the warm core
and planted a tiny seed -
there now grows
a mighty Redwood tree,
I shelter you from rain and fallout
in its warm hollow.
Author notes
For someone special.
Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
Extended metaphor! Always a joy. It works so well here, lends so much vibrancy to your words. It's so beautiful. All of my senses were definitely engaged for this poem. The last stanza leaves me feeling all warm inside


-
ooo

this is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful!! really lovely earth imagery..
xx -
Ah..this is just beautiful when you prise the beauty of the love and summrise its gifts around the life..very well stated poetry..well done indeed...
-
"in its warm hollow."
Gorgeousity, to use a word that isn't a word.

-
Beautiful!!!
I'm sure this wonderful dedication was received with a tender smile that warmed the heart and soul.
Thanks for sharing your talented soul, much love and light~
Timothy


-
*sigh* So beautiful Allie, I'm glad to see you writing again...I love your words.


-
Beautifully penned
Such a strong and confident poem, must be based on a good relationship.
Wonderful poem.
Buddy

-
-
thank you, it is
-
-
Second Stanza is amazing to me, I love images of the earth, searching, and finding extraordinary things there. Beautiful beautiful poetry. The someone is fortunate..hope they know!


-
-
I think they know. Thank you

-
-
uncultivable -
what a mouthful that word is lolol. I am compelled to slow down because of it. clever
there are many layers of beauty here...in the wording, in the idea of someone's hands in your soil, the imagery, the tribute you make.
a gift it would be to be that "someone special"
wonderful work

-
-
Thank you so much
-
1 - 12 of 12











