In space, I am
inclusive
yet not without
conversion.
Wherever I arrive
a vacancy becomes
impatient for my leave
within
the constant passage.
We all go on
for something.
I change
to be complete.
In a list
A contest entry
- Keeping Things Whole by AJ Morelli.
3500 points, ended April 2, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critical suggestions are always welcome
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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Change is ongoing; never stagnant or static. Liked where you went with these words, and where you ened up. some profound truths written here - second verse. Very creative and filled with shifts -
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Bang bang. Damn good writing, filled with insight and truth
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Your words make me feel more complete than I felt before I came to this poem. The very first line speaks so much truth regarding all of humanity. I love the second stanza. There are levels to its meaning. I prefer it to me that me being there intimidates the masses. I guess I am looking at the positive the stanza renders. All in all...a brilliant work in reality and brevity. The title is perfect!
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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reading this again
three smiley faces ! !! !!!
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Very positive!
I change to retreat.
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i like your mind Liza, very clever poem here
and a wonderful take on the contest poem, degree of difficulty is very high here as you've written something so close yet all your own...
i change to be complete, indeed
great entry here, thanks
al
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Well that was refreshing, yet quite different from what I got used to. How concise! At the same time the lack of words to read did not at all take me away from a very vivid image in my head. The flow is very consistent. I would be afraid to change it
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The idea behind this piece appeals to me. I like the last line a lot and had not thought of "change" just in those terms before but of course that is what it is.
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the enjambment at second and third stanzas is brilliant. your final two lines are purist of poetry. The first stanza is an amazing statement of the inconstancy of reality and the illusion of stability ... by this I mean, I felt that 'fear' has been given a slap in the face, well aimed and without much ado.
very impressive
I was sent here by a poet who loves your poetry and you ... Night Hope ... she knows I only have time to read the finest of poets. I will give her a big fat kiss and hug for guiding me to your poetry and I shall read you often, for I must read the poets of power, and always have, or shall never have written at all.
utterly poetry this is
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intelligently lovely .. as always - the coming and going of change ... in the search for self .. of course were we ever to be complete, what then ? so nice to read you again ... >>> Gina
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I love it!
The Absolute cannot be a 'thing' fixed, anything it's not, it must also be, including change itself. Yet it must be beyond change because there cannot be a change into something that already is. An ever changing by the changeless into as always has been.
Well... that's what it did to me... and most beautifully!
Wish I could leave more applause again.
Sol
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back to re-read this and wonder
did anyone ever wrote a poem about penis captivus? -
I enjoy Strand's work greatly, and this is excellent. You've taken it to a place completely separate & equally exciting.
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"ArtFullyMe"...Artful indeed!
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WOW!
This is incredible...well done!
Mariana
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i loved gills comment below! geesh
i adored this one and how it reminds me of my own changes and where things have gone and may go - if i am brave enough
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i think Jung has it right, when he spoke of us being in a primordial soup of time, that is only stirred by the human condition... the collective consciouness of us? and of course of ourselves, our one true self, that jumps around and and around making us, almost almost whole
i think, therefore i am whole
just being
one inside out
and then the other side
in
of course
it's all relevant
in time space
continuum
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You change because you are a wise Artiste, too...
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very good, a sense of movement through a lifetime here, a search...and every movement creates a vacuum and the vacuum must be filled...growth, completion..wonderful insights here...PK
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Interesting comments. They didn't help me one twit but I'm in good company at least.
The author Mark Strand, if I am correct has translated some Brazilian poetry. Why do I mention it? Because I'm delaying my comment.
Wherever I wish to go, No vacancy signs pop up.
I was thinking about doing a snow job comment but you already have a few of those. I've no idea what is going on here. From the sound of lines 5-7 I'd guess your were at a motel.
I do know at the end of the poem you are complete and that must be better than being a bunch of spare parts. So apparently it was a relaxing stay at the hotel.....
Too deep for me. Pass me the coloring book.
Nah, it is about that need to be, because you feel that the way you are, you are not complete and the only way to be complete is to find that passage and continually move through it.
Two feet of snow.
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Oh, I entered the contest, before viewing your write.
Now, I am sure.
I have without a doubt no chance at winning to you.
And Cat!
Oh, I suppose it doesn't hurt to try.
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Oh it's nice to see you penning, it's been awhile...with movement it becomes the space we need,sometimes to step backwards to see where we need to be. C
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Excellent!
Will be back to comment... great to read you again
Speak later I hope.
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Wherever I arrive
a vacancy becomes
impatient for my leave
love it
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"change....the only constant thing". and so many people are so very scared of change but how can we become whole or complete without movement, without change? loved this - fine, fine writing.
~ Nicolette
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I like to move, partially to be complete, to find more, to be more, to know more, but also as a reminder of all those things I don't know yet.
Moving is inevitable, least it has been in my life, so it has become an integral part of my survival routine - I am far from complete, but I am still no more permanent than I was 4 years ago..
only changed
and I think that's a good start
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hell, and here i thought you left and hooked up with one of those blond-haired Russians trying to cross the Bearing-Strait ...
... i won't get into all this has said to me, no need,
damn fine write hun ... (and i am hung bigger than that Russian)
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Again you impress:
Wherever I arrive
a vacancy becomes
impatient for my leave
An interesting way of pondering what happens in the space when we are not in it.
Your ending is particularly good. Change is the thing that fills the space between who we are and who we were meant to be. Completion, thought never complete (ha ha), is a product of change.
Adaptability to change is the fundamental key of success.
This is excellent.
Garrison
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the gear was untouched
shiny, chrome
with neon inflexions
the shift happened
everytime sight slided
from eye corner
to the volta of mind
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yes.. i feel like that
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