Life's cold flat plain,
midnight days,
stagnant,
multiplied,
copied again.
Past fast forward,
time mirrored,
still stale,
spills onward,
days reflected.
Darkness eaten,
black pleasure,
sweet pain,
so peaceful,
my surrender.
Author notes
Here's a poem I wrote about how I think the only way to be happy is to stop fighting pain and surrender to it and learn to appreciate it's beauty.
What do you think,gently speak your mind .
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Loving the oxymorons in this write...
I'm not sure that I can appreciate pain having beauty...
Pain hurts!!
But prhases like darkness eaten,
and black pleasure
made this a truly remarkable write! -
...
Not bad, not bad, i just find the fact that it is on the left a bit bothering, if you want to keep it that way, i'd sudjest you adjest thecoloring, to something colder
i will give a 4/5 for the poem, and 2/5 for the coloring. You get 4/5 for the message. And a 4/5 for the picture that the poem gives
Grand total of 14/20 -
very nice.. your description of the pain's permanence is incredible.
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Love it!
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This is excellent Stevie...you are losing all the filler words and concentrating on the beauty of brevity. You have captured the essence of OCD. Well Done!!
Mariana
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Really good, great imagery. keep it up
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Well... you put this down very well and I like the imagery, well done! Keep penning, you have talent!
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