The rock
Pushes upwards
Through the mossy hill,
Like an aged man teething.
Tearing through grass-woven gums,
It breaks free. Marvels at Dingle Bay…
Towns pocketed into mountains,
Shore and sea inhaling and exhaling.
Slate-colored clouds govern the sky,
And only permit the sun to peer out
To cast lined shadows over the rock.
“The earth is warm,
The sea is cold,”
And the rock remains completely still,
Entranced by the bay’s arching rainbow;
Faint at first, more vibrant the longer looked.
The rock lets Iris tie the bow around its core,
Reluctant at first, then accepting.
“The earth is warm,
The sea is cold,”
And the rock is on the hill.
Author notes
I'm studying in Ireland and I went to Kerry for the weekend, and this poem idea stuck with me.
I haven't been writing poetry as much as I used to because I've been focusing a lot more on short stories... so I'm a bit rusty- so I would really appreciate advice for this poem if you have any. Even nitty gritty things. Thanks!
A contest entry
- Itaz Anudder Kontest by lindaburns.
2110 points, ended March 3, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You bring us to the 'Rock' very well and I can hear and smell the sea.
'... aged man teething' - great description.
Well deserved trophy.
Sol
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What a beautiful image. Even though I didn’t understand what you were saying until I read it in Comments, I was able to see the beauty in it. You are definitely a contender in this contest. Again, beautiful.
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I feel that the background takes away from the text. I seems like the words are falling through the clouds... perhaps it's just me. I liked the metaphor about the gums and the teeth - very unique! However, I think I missed the point on this one. It is possible that I am just not reading it correctly. I loved the metaphors but perhaps make it a little less abstract?
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Thanks for the comment.......... I made this poem a little bit more complex than I usually do.
The rock wants so desperately to leave Dingle and go to the West- America. It worked so hard to break free from the confines of the hill, but at the end, the rock remains there......... and it's up the reader to determine why this is, and I left several details to support several reasons. Did the rock feel imprisoned by Ireland, obligated to stay. Was Ireland all it knew and was fearful to branch out into the unknown? Or did the rock realize that it enjoyed Ireland and all it's beauty and realized it wanted to stay. etc etc.....
This was based off of conversations I've had with Irish students who wish to leave Ireland for America. Almost every student I've talked to wants to do this.
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Good imagery.
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