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Darling Lover

Why am I afraid to lose you
when you were never mine?
Why long for your sweet caresses
when I have not felt them?

How is it that your soft strained voice
whispers my name in my head?
can I remember the salty sweetness
of your skin when we haven’t met?

I close my eyes and find myself in your embrace.
Your warm slick skin melding with mine.
You whisper your love into my neck
as we slip and slide discovering each other again.
Our secret romance clouds my mind.

Today I found you were leaving me.
Though you don’t even know you are.
I hold your image in my mind and hope to keep you fresh.
I can’t lose you like I lost the others.

The sensual sex gods of my imagination.
Each one withered and abandoned now.
Soon you will be too my darling lover.

Someday I will find another .
He will never be like you.
As you were never like them.
Our time will be remembered, always.

Soon you will be a shadow of what you were.
Another wraith of my ever hungering urges.
Skeletal remains of longings never realized.

Good-bye my darling love.

Author notes

I have no clue. I wrote this either very late at night or very early in the morning. Some input would be nice. I am refining it so let me know what you like and what you don't. I have reworked this as of March 31 2009. Thanks

Whole thing is a work in progress. What do you like most? Least?

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Janjan
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    Dear BunnyLuv26: Good use of exprfessionism in this write. I can feel your emotions coming through clearly in it. Love, Janjan xoxo

  • SimplySonnets gold member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply

    I like the idea. but not the line lengths.

    Why am I afraid to lose you
    when you were never mine?
    Why long for your sweet caresses
    when I have not felt them?

    I think that works better than the two long lines, and again.

    How is it that your soft strained voice
    whispers my name in my head?
    can I remember the salty sweetness
    of your skin when we haven’t met?

    You could do something similar with those long lines, I think the impact is greater with iambic pentameter lines. but of course this is only a suggestion.
    Note I have removed some of your words in my suggested alterations.

    Good poem.


    • Bunny luv26
      March 31
      Edit | Reply
      I hope you will look at this again and let me know if I am heading in the right direction. Thank you for your help and your lovely comments.


  • Cloudwalker
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    i love it its beautiful, passionate and brings out a deep longing... i love the last stanza

1 - 5 of 5