Music:
my soul's serum;
each moment, a note,
everyday, a new melody.
Harmonics connect me
to the cosmos,
and beyond.
In tune with nature,
I sing out to the
burning heavens...
I listen,
as Universe
echoes my song...
Author notes
C....photobucket
A contest entry
- ...I Sing (or Don't) Because... by Desire.
1221 points, ended March 7, 2009, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Got an HM You Think Deserves Better? by Paloszoo.
900 points, ended April 9, 2009, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Hi. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck! I’ve decided to use a slightly edited version of my friend Arkbear’s grading scoreboard to help me judge this contest. I hope he doesn’t mind. It’ll aid me in organizing my thoughts and judging fairly versus randomly. I hope you enjoy it and find it helpful. Writers with the highest possible points out of 80 will obviously win
Title Appeal: 7 – It’s a nice title, befitting of your poem, but I think it’s too bland and gives the reader way too much information about your poem. Jazz it up a bit…pun intended
Poem Flow: 9.95 – Excellent! Stanzas are broken up perfectly to make for a nice, easy read.
Depth: 9 – So few words, but the impact was there, which was nice.
Emotional Impact: 8.5 – I just didn’t feel it. Maybe if you’d done more showing instead of telling, it would’ve touched me more deeply.
Spelling and Grammar: 10 – Spot on!
Punctuation and Caps: 9.75 – Almost right on. Personally, I’m not a fan of … in poems.
Presentation: 9.5 – Stanzas are broken out nicely, but it would’ve been nice to see you expound on your thoughts a little and get some more emotion in there.
Personal Appeal: 8 – Superbly written, but not my type of genre.
My score: 71.70/80.00
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Thank You!!
Thank You for Your entry: Magical Music
This piece tugged hard at Spirit and after reading several times~ I am Honored also Humbled You took the time to pen for my contest You took the prompt and ran with it~ Bravo!!
When I digest words written, images come through that grab hard~
Woven Strengths- Love the emotion which could be felt in each stanza also kept feeling this wanting- wanting to speak Mind- and also being shown a soapbox- and a person stepping upon it- preparing to speak- nudged to mention- this phrase of: bend to no one- feels like reference to if You Believe in something so strongly- not to bend because of pressure- Hopefully that makes sense
Powerful verse and message You have brought forth
These words grabbed and pulled-
In tune with nature,
I sing out to the
burning heavens...
Emotional Voice spoken~
Thank You for sharing Your Heart also Spirit
also best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
**Judging will be done shortly...
Many blessings too
with much love and light~ Desire~*~
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