He acted like he loved me…
He told me that he cared,
Yet now I see them…
Walk down the hallways, as if I wasn’t there.
I thought she was my friend,
How could hse have done this…
What did I do to her, to deserve this punishment.
We haven’t talked all week,
After he said those fatefulu words.
Now he wants to be buddy buddy,
Since he’s not caught up over me.
I lost my best friends,
I can’t seem to trust them anymore.
She went behind my back,
Voiding the friendship code.
My ex-boyfriend…and my best friend,
Are dating,
As of today.
A contest entry
- Sorry... by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended March 2, 2009, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Yeah...did it suck?
Comments
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I like the firse verse, it flows well and is very effective. Keep it up!
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WHAT?!? Who was this?!? I'll kick their butts I sware!!!! Just tell meh who it was!!!!!
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It started off with a pretty good rhythm and rhyme scheme, which you appear to have lost.
If you wanted to make this more freewrite style, you need to change the layout a bit...
I liked the ending, it was very powerful, and I can see why you wouldn't want to forgive someone for that.
It did not suck entirely...These things will come with practice- and I liked this write!
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