my music
is in the starting whir of the computer,
the tap-tap typing and mouse clicks.
it's different than her melodies -
with fancy trills,pizzicato,allegro,largo,ritardando,
fermata...
she has a solo voice
backed by the onwards march
of the orchestra.
i have a solo, too,
and in poetry, everybody does
until you can't tell who's got the melody and who's got the harmony -
but then again, they never
really existed in the first place.
her music
is sunrise, dawn,
but my music
is before that; my music
is that precise moment
when the midnight
meets the morning.
her music is perfectly practiced, written out in
clear notes,
but my music is winging it -
it is a bird, a flock of birds, thinking
on feet - on wings.
her music is sunlight - bright and loud
forgotten in time. mine
is moonlight, leaving some things still
hidden, keeping secrets.
but my music is there, something
you can read hundredsthousandsmillions of times over
and never
understand.
her music is hers,
but mine
is the world's.
Author notes
Apologies if this seems rather vague. I have become a rather vague writer as of now. Oh, yeah, and sorry about the title. Titles are not my strong point 
Ideas are welcome.
A contest entry
- the door of music (invite only) by bird at rose.
3500 points, ended July 22, 2009, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I like the diversion from popularity to being inspired at your own pace -
- A door most people can't open through peer pressure.
"but my music
is before that; my music
is that precise moment
when the midnight
meets the morning"--
this expresses what people miss because of omitted individuality ... the development of overlapping. and while daybreak isn't rejected, your contrast in this stanza brings the point home that what unlocks a song digs for dynamics beyond top understanding. "it is a bird, a flock of birds, thinking on feet - on wings" shows me how two pieces of life should influence our mind so we don't have to remember how to fly to the end of our poem.
This is lovely for an 11-year-old,
bird at rose -
I had previously offered a few suggestions in particular due to your author notes which had a nudging for me to do so ... I don't know if you still wanted to think about editing or not ... I can only give a short amount of more time; by the time of my completing all comments, I'll leave a review, revised or original.
-
"my music
is that precise moment
when the midnight
meets the morning" ~~~ to me was the best here by the pondering spark of emotions ... but I still think this poem could be stronger if outlined with a metaphor, and through that, more imagery might make one reposition to become alert, rather than repetition.
Suggestions from me: Something like "pitches" may have a compact flow for the title, perhaps you may develop on that by illustrating a lower pitch of the singer's song, that didn't affect you ... and yours a higher pitch, a process of forming notes. I'd appreciate if you use your own creativity, I'm just giving you a pathway. I'll be back to comment in case you want to work. -
This is brilliant This isn't vague... just vague enough to mean something personal to everyone. This is very deep, full of profound meaning, creative imagery, and intense emotion. You are an excellent poet
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" hundredsthousandsmillions " <== I love how you put all thoose words together with no gaps.
and i love the whole thing really
erm kinda vague comment, I'll be back later if I remember to write a longer more detailed comment
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