Pressure from inside my mind
and heart beating a rythmn of sorrow
I can't get rid of the thought
that I should've said something.
Now she's gone, and I'm alone
the apartment has never felt so empty,
my nerves constantly shaken,
and my heart almost a dead thud.
Author notes
http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/files/u45/regret.jpg
based on a personal experience that i'll always regret and never forget...
In a list
A contest entry
- 1ST contest inspire by FallenxAngelxMisfit.
600 points, ended March 5, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Everything! [Prewrites Allowed] by Captain Amber SL.
700 points, ended April 26, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tons of Options. by TheSpiralGenerator.
750 points, ended March 14, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
soo....whats your honest opinion?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This poem is full of powerful emotion, but to be honest, I think it's a little short and lacking in imagery. I think that this poem could be improved by lengthening it, showing the reader more what is in your mind and the circumstances around what has happened. Although, I do realize that it may be hard for you to write about your regrets, and this may be the reason for the shortness of the poem.
I wish you the best of luck, and keep writing and improving your poetry. ^__^
Aeris Silverlight
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its good penning but you did not put wat inpsired you to write this poem in your note
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gah! so sorry bout that! i totally forgot...just put it in..
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Great write! Sad but well crafted, very emotional.
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OMG that fit the prompt perfect you could feel the scream building, awesome!
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