Skinny jeans, strapless tops and no cares,
Three months of freedom and rainy sunshine;
Sunglasses, piercings and a fresh outlook on the world;
I fell in love;
And he, along with the sun, disappeared in autumn.
Author notes
[x] 100% True and Personal
[ ] Fiction
Summer Skin - Death Cab for Cutie.
I think this is shit; I suck at short poems.
In a list
A contest entry
- a quickie! :) by etoile.
825 points, ended February 22, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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this is not shit. the last line was like a punch to the face. the imagery is so vivid and beautiful.
thanks for entering and goodluck
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Meh, I think "Forever" is better.... same theme, but overall better.
(I have a feeling that I'm gonna end up still writing about him
)
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This pretty good.Truly captures teenage summers and all they can entail. The ending is stronger than you might think;it just seems to work for this poem where as in many other poems it wouldn't.I understand your need for the gaps between lines but shorter gaps might be more effective...I like gaps.
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Heya, thanks I shortened the spaces now
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The ending is perfect. I very much like this song, and as i said, the ending is just superb.
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It's really good. I like it a lot. It's cute and flirty and playful. It reminds me of the summers when I was in high school.
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i love this,
brings back some nice summer memories ^.^
this line especially:
Sunglasses, piercings and a fresh outlook on the world;
wow.
beautiful imagery throughout.
best of luck in the contest!
ElectricBloom
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I love the ending. you tied the whole poem together with that. Excellent poem!
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i love it
a nice opening and
the end was a nice kick<33
^^
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