I stand alone at the frightening crossraods of life
cutting my wrists with this despicable knife
This wretched scarlet flow of blood poors from me
weaking and blinding my body now I cannot see
Then this hellish flow stopped and something emerged from my arm
A small silver coin appeared without any cause or alarm
The heads said go this way and the tails said go that way
Stunned by this I had no idea what to do or what to say
The one path was one that I knew was the smart way to go
Put when I looked inside my heart the other path did show
So I stand here on this cold place where two paths join
Making a painful decison with a flip of a coin
Author notes
I wrote this for the contest "torn between two worlds"
I hope this helps you and I hope you make a good decision
I have felt similar and have had one of these situations so I feel your pain and frustration
A contest entry
- Torn between two worlds by flounder416.
400 points, ended March 27, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRWRITE CONTEST FOR ALL by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended August 2, 1023 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wonderful poem this one.
You have spelt crossroads wrongly. I know I am a pain.
It should be weakening not weaking.
Pours not poors.
I think you mean but not put in the verse before the last one.
I love dark poetry.
Jenny
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amazing
this is very powerful
i loved it
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There are a few spelling errors, like put instead of but, and weaking instead of weakening. In the first line, "and at" makes me pause and reread - I'd maybe cut the "and".
You've got a very nice rhythym going through out most of this, but a few lines aren't following that flow. I'd recommend going through and reading it out loud, purposely keeping a beat with your hand and voice.
Besides all thaaaat, haha, I rather like this. How weird to be cutting yourself, and have a coin drop from your arm! Hahaha
I'd like to read this again after you've gone through and edited a bit, if you wouldn't mind replying to my comment at that point
Good luck! :] -
I think its great, you got some talent, truly. props
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Nice rhyming couplets! I like the way you developed this- how the coin, the ultimate decision comes from the cut in the arm. This is a dangerous crossroads indeed.
Best of wishes-
KW~
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