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Jacob


 

So warm is your skin
In the coldest storm
I would simply hold you
And the cold wouldn't find me in your arms

Your beautiful black hair
Shining like a ravens feathers
Smooth as silk
I could run my fingers through it all day

Your skin so soft
A russet brown
Like the oh so sweet color
Of the redwood trees bark

Your eyes so dark
So full of passion and pain
I could see your soul through them
Let me gaze into your eyes all day

I love you Jacob Black
You've imprinted on me
I love you my werewolf friend
But it isn't enough...

Author notes

TEAM JACOB FOREVER!!!!

A contest entry

what do you think???

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Play-Doh
    March 19
    Edit | Reply
    nice use of words =]


  • ApollosMuse
    March 14
    Edit | Reply
    very good though i do prefer edward!!LOL!!

  • celadia
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    the last line of the first stanza could be improved, 'while in...', you need an apostrophe in 'raven's' , I'm not picking on you but there are those readers who see a mistake and will never read again, so I feel it's good to point out typos to poets, I always appreciate it.
    The feeling in this poem is heartfelt, like a calm sort of love, which makes Jacob seem stable, a decent person. I think that is mostly what I get from this poem, an idea about Jacob, maybe you'd want to include something about yourself, a snippet of history, or anecdote about why you feel the way you do about him.


  • xbroken.angelx
    March 13
    Edit | Reply
    GO TEAM JACOB!
    i like the imagery but there is no emotion in it. good write tho!


  • SingMeToSleep
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    Although I can't stand Jacob and I am Team Edward all the way, I liked this poem. Great write.

    Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • xPink-Lotusx
    February 16

    Edit | Reply

    Well written.. But...

    I favor the Werewolves, and I have read all four books, and going through them a second time now.. But I would change one part of this poem because Jacob felt he was in love with Bella, but did not imprint on her. If you feel the urge, the need to use the word imprint, I would say something like "You've made an imprint on my heart" or "You've imprinted my heart" .. Just to keep it more true to the story. Other than that I love this because I loved the story, but I am a bigger fan of the werewolf side than the vamp side.


    • emii.kiilled.Diin0
      February 16
      Edit | Reply
      ohk i am tottaly understanding ur point, but, jacob thought he imprinted on her believe meh the book is burned into meh uber wirdness thing thats called a brain, so even though im considering ur say to change it, idk know if i shud cuz my poem isnt based on the whole "he figures out he didnt imprint on her" its more based on what happend then u know bella falls inlove with him(ofcors not more than edward) and he loves her also, so yah and thank ous for commenting on meh poem


  • Talk To Arson13
    February 16
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    This is a beautiful poem, great write


  • Bohemianwriter
    February 16

    Edit | Reply

    TEAM JACOB YEEEAH

    DUDE YOUR TEAM JACOB TOO!!?! HELL YEEEAH! *High Five!* whoop whhooop! isnt he just amaaazing??!!? but i didnt like who they had play him in the movie, he soooo wasnt the jacob i had imagined in my head while reading the books.

    but yeah back to the poem it was amazzing!! i really loved it was really passionate, my stomach felt all queezy! lol really maybe you should continue writing romantic poetry, u have quiet the talent 4 it. yeah keep going dude.
    ur awesomeness XXXX


    • emii.kiilled.Diin0
      February 16
      Edit | Reply
      *high five* dude i dint know ur team jacob thats fu*king awsum!!!!
      yes i totally agree, they shudve picked someone else cuz lol he dusnt fit the part-at all!!


  • lovemedeath
    February 16
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is beautfil writen!!!


  • Pixi
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    perfectly describing what I have been reading through Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and now Breaking Dawn,..
    I mean.. it's beautiful and so poetic, well done


    • emii.kiilled.Diin0
      February 16
      Edit | Reply
      thank you, wow i dont think so but hey man thanks!! so ur obviously eam jacob? *low five* dude


  • Comic Book Romance gold member
    February 16
    Edit | Reply
    oh Twilight!
    This was cute.
    i'm more of a Jasper girl myself
    but i enjoyed this poem.


    • emii.kiilled.Diin0
      February 16
      Edit | Reply
      even though ima team jacob, jasper tottaly rocks! hes so dark u knw if u get to know him its like thers this whole other side of him its amazing, thank yous for ccommenting!


  • xLovingxMyxAngelx
    February 16
    Edit | Reply
    good write but i have to disagree about the team jacob

1 - 24 of 24