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Can't You Feel the Knife?

My bones burst through my skin.
I leave a trail of blood in my wake.
My toes scrape the gravel with each step,
slowly ripping off each toenail.

I can't control my jaw,
and drool is dripping off my chin.
My eyes are swollen shut,
and I can only barely see through red slits.

I can feel millions of bugs
crawling all over my skin,
biting and sucking and feeding.
I scratch and scratch at them,
desperately trying to kill.

The air is as thick and sour as cat piss,
and I can taste it on my tongue.
Every other breath I choke and cough,
splattering drool all over my face.

In my weakest moment I think of you,
and tears start to pour down my cheeks,
seeping into each cut with a sting,
burning a trail like acid

Author notes

{title taken from Knife by Grizzly Bear}

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Red Sunglasses
    February 26
    Edit | Reply
    So disgustingly descriptive. I know this has to do with those crazy bedbugs.

    • no, atchully! it was something i came up with before i realized about the bugs, but i haven't really been able to read it since then becauuuse of mai bed bugs.


  • Insane-Joe
    February 16

    Edit | Reply

    good

    i like this poem...good descriptions..however if u were trying to rhyme your rhyme scheme could use improvement...good poem though...plz if u cud review some of my newer poetry!


    • clickclickBOOM
      February 16
      Edit | Reply
      Oh. No. No rhyming. I didn't realize, however, until you said that, that I used "shut" twice. So thanks haha