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Frayed Silence

 

 

A moment of quiet

to appease discontented soul

and hush craving's clamor

 

For vacancy exists

in a heart drawn merely

for others' need

 

and mattresses melded to sin

give only lip service

to affection

 

So cold wood comforts

tender bones and

threadbare fortitude

 

in lieu of gentle touch

genuine of substance

 

Yet hope does not

cease its confrontation

on somber circumstance

 

but grasps depth of spirit

in wait to soar

 

Though for now...

 

powdered cheeks

offer blush in fabrication

 

as slowly she ascends

to paying patrons

once more

 

 

 

Author notes

Artwork by Fabian Perez

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • penman gold member
    November 22
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    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Wow, great work, so very creative. Congrats on the gold.


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    September 17

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful, it pulled at my heartstrings with the complex emotion and the stunning imagery in the storyline. Beautifully penned to be sure. best to you in the contest


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      September 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much!! This is one of my personal favourites, that I dug deep for, so I am so honoured that you liked it


  • Amera gold member
    September 13

    Edit | Reply
    I'm so glad AutumnGypsy hosted this contest because I missed this poem and for that I'm so sorry. I thik it's simply dreamy. Love it and love you sis!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • jackreed3 gold member
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    That was verry nice... I like writing for the pro's .. some of these people on
    this sight is judgeing at the age at 13.... THATS TOO YIUNG for me to enter...
    Your friend in poetry JackReed3...


  • Randomly Beautiful
    August 4

    Edit | Reply
    I love the alliteration. I used to use it all the time. You didn't over-use it like some do. It had a great flow when read out loud. Enjoyable again.


  • Valley Girl silver member
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    A saddened tale about what some people go through to make a living. Doing things that they detest. You have really told a story with this piece Auntie J! Congrats on the bronze.


  • delightfulmess silver member
    March 8

    Edit | Reply
    Awe.... Such a very great take on one of my favorite paintings. Dreamy beautiful thoughts in what seems to be a hopeless existance.
    Sensational word choices here. You did a fabulous job Thank you for entering my contest.


    Delila


  • aboomer silver member
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    Really deep in emotion. Paints a sad, lonely picture.
    Excellent!
    best wishes in your contest


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply

    this is sadly beautiful! Angel!

    your words described such sadness and truth for some who have that life style, rich in imagery as always
    your master pieces are penned with such depth,

    Love you Angel

    Rend


  • fairytalelovestory
    February 19
    Edit | Reply
    wow. i love this. good luck in your contest

  • Olea
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    Good poem. Good. Something in the way the color of art and your poem blend makes it a great combination of visual and poetic images, and something ironic, too, the way she seems to be sighing down there low on the bottom rung, but soon will climb the stairs again. i dig it. really. dig it.


  • notorious gold member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    She's baaaaaaaaaaaack (referring to you. Duh. Haha)

    Your second stanza with "drawn merely for others' needs" sounds seriously like somebody who seeks approval in other places that isn't in the self.

    Which is realistic.
    And kinda depressing.

    Oh, right.
    other's ==>others' with the apostrophe at the end of the 's'

    "lip service"
    NICE. That phrase...I forgot it existed.

    "genuine of substance"
    I likes. I might make this my MSN screenname, haha. It's such a tangible phrase.

    "blush in fabrication"
    I didn't think I liked the word 'blush', but I like it the way you used it because it sounds so superficial and concealing.

    Coooooooool beans.

    ;
    Jessica


  • jasminerose
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning! Brilliant and beyond words as you have and amazing muse!!
    My best to you...
    Linda


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      February 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much, I haven't been writing hardly at all this year, so that means a lot! Especially coming from such a wonderful poet as yourself!


  • stompsalot
    February 16

    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    amazing write! lots of emotion in this piece. you are a true talent. loved every bit of this. and especially the title, very creative and suitable!
    blessings *stomps


  • Ravensdark
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh.... I rejoice in the return of thy muse. Missed your poetry. You have a style that beguiles. As always you have written something absorbing and meaningful. Great poem and best of luck.


  • jcat gold member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    So sad and yet lovely!!! I have missed the beauty of your words my friend and am so happy to enjoy this with morning coffee!! Your presense has been sorely missed!!!


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    You are speaking from the heart, My Kiwi Queen. This is quite personal, from title to "once more."

    "For vacancy exists
    in a heart drawn merely
    for other's need"

    Powerful ..

    May need refined in some places, but still is a very emotional piece of you.

    Best of luck in the contest!

    s~w


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    agreed, this is beautifully sad...
    wow mia bella really awesome write & great pic... with beautifully woven story into your verses here hun, brilliantly you as always!

    Love, light & laughter
    Tasha


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    well done

    You have such a nice vocabulary, which makes your pieces fit the prompt perfectly
    love this write





  • secberm
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Hey there sweetie. How are you? Blessed I hope. I see you've graced us with a piece of yoru mind. LOL Hope all is well. Enjoyed the write.

    Always,
    Dez


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully sad...

    powdered cheeks
    offer blush in fabrication

    How much of our lives are a fabrication???

    Always left with awe and wonder after reading you Sis...always!


    Az


  • Swangrnv gold member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply

    gosh..

    you may have taken a break from writing in the ap pages but it's apparent your talent didn't take a break from you!! excellent, even though the subject matter is a bit sad it's penned to perfection..

  • chiefmac
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Hello Jackie, The sadness of life, striving for survival at the sacrafice of ones dignity. The stanza paint the reader strong images for the surviver, detached aceptance of sins molded to around mattreesses. Maintaining a somber hope degraded spirit with desire to soar above the status she ascends to. Deserves trophy in my opinion.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done Jackie...just a few questions though; how much? and do you make house calls? Just kidding, don't hit me! *winces*


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    February 16
    Edit | Reply
    How we have missed your words as you can tell by the comments below. No one captures smooth and sultry like you. The images are sensational as usual. Best to you in the contest


  • LadyDementia gold member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    You know I love this hunni, good to see you posting again! Goes well with the gorgeous picture, good luck but looks golden to me!!


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Oh it's great to see you back and writing for a start Such a sensual and sultry take on the picture and the story you have woven with your words fits amazingly.
    Best wishes in the contest.
    Gaylene


  • Cannonsfire
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Nice to see you here and this penning from you SIL a beautiful job C


  • PerfectImperfection
    February 16

    Edit | Reply
    Ooooh sultry, doused in a deceitful glimpse of what facade breeds within. Great imagery to detail here - very nice. I missed your words!!! Powerful write!

1 - 34 of 34