A spider did it.
They once were hippies
These pinstriped men with nooses round their necks.
Now briefcased fist marches into recession
I floated high above a cloudy, unseen past.
Among stars in the solemn silence of time and space and nothingness.
I waited, breath baited, biding my minutes
Waited for birth.
A cobweb spun
They were dancers once
These high-heeled woman, chains on their wrists
Now tight-pinned bun surges to depression.
The king a lizard was.
Phantom fighting, fainting, falling, failing.
Zeppelin busts open our skulls
Fuck fight your destiny.
Mini mommy makes me merry
Teary tides in a lunar orb.
Silvery Trinity turned inside out.
Here before the soils my name knew.
Suffer me this incarnation.
As I, a vision at your back, carve out my karma.
Those shiny stars now singe my fingertips.
I reached out to avoid them again and again and then, just once more
Please leave a comment. I feel this isnt as good as it could be but i cant see how yet. Any insight?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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An interesting write - it reminds me of poems I read during the sixties in America. Obviously there's a bit of the cosmic cowgirl in you. I enjoyed reading you bio as well. Happy trails neighbor.
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Yipeee
You got it! Thats what it was sposed to sound like. You know sometimes im convinced that I have entities writing through me! I read my work and dont remember writing it?
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WOW surely
you're playing right?? this is awesome!!! deep and thought provoking and uniquely penned with a voice i immediately can identify with for a multitude of reasons..trust me from these eyes and this brain, this is purely an outstanding piece..
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Thank you! Was it not a bit stagnant?
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You have chosen an interesting topic to tackle, and have had a great deal of fun playing with alliteration and other devices. It certainly has the feel of drug trip poetry.
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Thank You!
Lol. Drug trip poetry? Thats a great way to put it and You hit the nail on the head! Wish I was tripping though when I wrote it lol!
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The looking back and seeing what has been and what maybe should have been different. It won't be and they all eat what they have served. I can tell you though that one should not discard the illusions because they were real to us and eventually they will be real to you. This has Tori Amos feel for me but without as much fire. That does not make it a bad write but just carries on without changing directions at all. You did a great job of capturing the moments now and the moments then regardless. If you are satisfied with the result then 'nuff said. I could take some offense at the documnent as it is aimed at me in a generational way. I don't believe that was your total agenda though. Look at how much you made me write. You succeeded. RC
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But why would you take offense to that? Its a time I WISH i had been blessed enough to have grown up in. This is my "ode to the 60's and 70's". Its a critiscm on what we have become and what we have forgotten. Its also commentary on the way we change as time marches on and we're forced to grow up (applies to all decades). Youre right in saying that it is a bit stagnant. Ive always had that problem! Its something that my high school english teacher wouldve sold his soul to remedy!! Thank you. I will try to improve.
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reduce the length of lines, by couting the syllables.
it's a better way to write. other wise its reallycool
v
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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Thank you for the tip, it will prove useful.
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