Rusted pain
cuts close to the core.
Blood poisoning;
seep into my blood
become part of me.
Cling to me
help me to grow up:
to leave.
Freeze me
and drop me;
break me.
Heal me
and carry me through.
I was never here.
Author notes
I entered after all 
44 words.
Picture prompt. Credit: blqksi
Uh, started off kinda sad and then I just let my fingers go and stopped thinking. Turned out like that....kinda about my life right now actually.
Inspired by one of the knives in my grandfather's collection, you got cut by that thing, you'd be dead within hours from all the crap on that blade.
If it sucks, by all means, blame my brain.
A contest entry
- Quickie 10/30-60/60 by AutumnGypsy.
700 points, ended February 15, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Blah-fish - Constructive criticism is appreciated
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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No, I wouldn't use blood twice in a row like that either, but the poem in it's entirety is an enjoyable one to read. There is a sense of pain here but a beauty also who wins out for the reader.
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challenging and enigmatic. I wouldnt use the word blood twice in your second stanza.
Apart from that, spot on.
well done. youve done a good job
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I love the background, it's mad!
This is really depressing, but very prettily written. Well done! -
oooooooo
very nice way to strt this off
i love it
<33 -
This is well written, it suits the prompt perfectly. Best to you in the contest
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