His tears are imminent, threatening his sea blue irises.
And her sorrow is gathering like pending precipitation.
His words are shining in the crisp frosty air,
But everything’s just a blur in her cascading pain.
He is holding her tight.
She is dressed in her layered warmth, but still shivers.
He traces long patterns across the small of her back.
The ticking clock is draining away the silence.
Soon their time will come.
He's trying to speak again,
But he fears his voice will crack and drip with sobs.
So much of his heart fell into her hands, that now he is merely an empty ghost.
She was going to reply to the unspoken rhetorical question playing on the corners of his mouth.
But she was afraid he could see the broken spirit filtering through her teeth.
So much hope she had fuelled into this holiday sequence, she was just a typewriter with no ink.
The air was tarnished with the bitter cut of the sentence slivering between apprehension.
“So where does this leave us now?”
Summer romances always end with winter.
Author notes
This is written about a summer romance, experiencing the turn of circumstances.
I know i cannot write nearly as well as you, but i thought i'd enter anyway.
it was fun.
A contest entry
- you got my rhythm, i can't move without you baby. by aanika.
6693 points, ended April 11, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - /B/r/e\a\k\ me into p.i.e.c.e.s, Im such a h-o-p-e-l-e-s-s case. by Silent Emotions.
900 points, ended February 25, 56 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
If you wanted honesty;; Then that's all you had to say.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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i liked the ending
you have some issues with your tenses:
He was going to speak again,
But he fears his voice will crack and drip with sobs.
So much of his heart fell into her hands, that he was merely now an empty ghost.
you go back and forth from present to past and it really throws off the reader.
you also have some gorgeous imagery though such as
His tears are imminent, threatening his sea blue irises.
And her sorrow is gathering like pending precipitation.
thanks for entering! -
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Tenses are evil.. :/
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His tears are imminent, threatening his sea blue irises.
that got me
i love poems about guys with blue eyes
=[[[
stry of my life
and
the end
amazing!!!!!!!!!!!
jeez
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Gosh thanks=] You comment very quickly!
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hah im sorry
lol -
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Dont be sorry! everyone loves feedback.
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Hey... that sounds like me.. except the relationship started in summer and ended three winters later, not just that next coming winter...
This definitely hit home with me.
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