Constantly surrounded by people
Who will never see the face that lies inside me
A loneliness that surrounds me
My days are darkened by a pure sense of sadness,
My mind is bothered by total madness
I ask for comprehension
And a sense of direction
I wish for perfection
And I hope for some affection
I look back at my reflection
Hating the girl staring back at me
As she gave me this infection
I’m alone in my mind
With insanity as my only companion
Death is far, and yet He holds me closely
It’s raining and under this gloomy mist
I close my fist and I slit my wrist
I failed you;
I failed myself
It never heals
It never goes away
I’ll forever be broken, forever fail and lose
Forever fall and crawl
I’ll forever be
Diseased and Disturbed.
A contest entry
- It all falls away by Puking Faerie Dust.
900 points, ended April 19, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I liked the flow and the overall meaning, but the execution could have been a lot better. There's a lot of "I"s and adjectives and filler words. It just makes it harder to feel the emotion. But I do commend you on the originality of word usage. Thanks for entering
Jeanette*~ -
"I ask for comprehension
And a sense of direction
I wish for perfection
And I hope for some affection
I look back at my reflection
Hating the girl staring back at me
As she gave me this infection
I’m alone in my mind
With insanity as my only companion"
This is a very great piece of writing. I love the flow.
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