A pockmarked innocent moon
sends ribbons of faint light
seeking softly throughout my room
daring the sulky shadows
to reveal their unclean secrets.
Old memories point at me
mockingly as I spit back
their accusations triumphantly.
There is marginal difference
between despair and ecstasy.
Guilty indeed of the horrid deed,
as you shrank from me in fear.
I still see you, bloody and cowed
when you realized wide eyed defeat.
Once arrogant and proud, you mewled
aloud and begged for a mirage of mercy.
I granted you what you deserved
again and yet again in a frenzy
of murderously dizzy lust. The gun
taunted you with the fire which
you teasingly withheld from me.
Nevermore your occasional hobby
in control and manipulation.
You've been erased and rewritten
to suit my fancy and satisfaction.
You live only beneath my eyelids,
as I slide a hand betwteen trembling
legs until mindless screams join
the remembrance of yours. Muscles
tighten and hips thrust forward
as tribute to my forever trophy.
Author notes
A burgeoning addiction.
In a list
A contest entry
- Black Friday: Paint the Devil on the Wall by intoothandclaw.
700 points, ended March 6, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How Can I Improve? All Suggests Welcome!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Finalist.
All I really have to say about this is that your phrasing sometimes isn't as smooth and flowful as other times. With a little spit and polish there would be literally nothing to critique here. The individual personality of the killer stands out loud and clear, and you use so many wonderful fascinating phrases and statements of signature and identity. The archetype of the dominance killer shows through without being stated outright. Very good example of showing rather than telling for the most part. Thank you very much for your entry.
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Sensual and dark, but with the right motivations, judicious punishment and just returns... I enjoyed...PK
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Thank you, let's just hope she doesn't get a taste for this everytime some guy breaks her heart
heh heh
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I agree with Rainbow7.
It must have taken 99 years to perfect your art. lol
Well writ.
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Appreciated
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With that kind of a poem who would believe you're 99!!! Brilliant piece!
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TY!
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a wonderful poem some fantastic imagery and depth throughout good luck in the contest my freind and a happy valentines day
maralisa
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Thank you, maralisa!
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