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Deep Within

Close your eyes for
a second, a minute,
a moment.
The fire caressing you softly.
Deep within that
burning sensation
that engulfs and devours.
You will be found.

For you are in my eyes.
And I will be
your fire.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • CrystalLizard
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    Your words are few, but I can feel their flicker and their flame (and they are lovely). Great metaphor—the lover is a caressing fire. My only suggestion is to watch your punctuation; your periods interrupt the flow of a few of your lines.


  • TokyoMewMewIchigo
    February 18
    Edit | Reply
    Love how u explained it!

  • Cloudwalker
    February 18
    Edit | Reply
    thank you ppl


  • Bunny luv26
    February 17
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was beautifully written. There is a great flow and wonderful imagery. Great job!


  • Lowell Poe
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    Lots of passion in this lass...
    of being one.....
    of being thee only one
    that can bring the flame to another level....
    The title is excellent and i love the feeling that was injected so articulatly.....
    this brings your comment to be valued ten fold,
    knowing what a fine writer you are.

    Blessings lass,
    Lowell Poe.


  • GonewiththeWind
    February 14
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I love it..Very powerful and effective

1 - 8 of 8