Vas deferens, vas deferens, snip snip, snip-ee!
These sperms is unlucky, unlucky they be!
Vas deferens, vas deferens, snip snip, snip-oo!
Good luck to ye mollies, no children ensue.
Oh blimey, I piss, and rub 'ands with you!
Now that the ladder of life is undone,
You might think me spits on the bottom-most bum,
Which on occasion I do, I don't mind,
I'll leave greasy trails on whatever I find.
Vas deferens, vas deferens, snip snip, snip-pie!
Me member's so ghastly to blind a fair eye!
Vas deferens, vas deferens, snip snip, snip-ah!
I stops for no-one, not e'en my dear ma.
Vas deferens, vas deferens, snip snip, snip-ee!
These sperms is unlucky, unlucky they be!
Vas deferens, vas deferens, snip snip, snip-oo!
Good luck will rub off, when I rubs off on you!
I choose me birdies with no regard,-- yes, I do:
Makes room for me shaft, and brings a friend too!
Down where the fog is all heavy and grey,
'Tween consenting adults, whate'er Papists say,
When there's scarce one last chance to shoot into the wind,
There's things off in shadow that tasted and sinned.
In the dark streets of London:
Cor, what an end!
Vas deferens, vas deferens, you claims you're fixed:
Toss your nightshirt off, and let's get us mixed!
No-where is there a more happier friends
Than thems what cuts more than my vas deferens:
Snip, snippity snip snip-snip
Snip. snip, snip-ee!
Author notes
Wrote new lyrics for the number 'Chim Chim Cheree' from Mary Poppins, based on a dastardly rake who wanted to have a vasectomy for his own nefarious purpose.
Also, wanted to make it sound Victorian authentic. I'm sure I messed up here and there.
Additionally, this sucks. But I appreciate the opportunity to try. Thanks! 
Please, enjoy!
- Giovanni
A contest entry
- ANOTHER CHOICE CONTEST, YAY! by HisPrincessMaloka.
550 points, ended March 19, 2009, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is the crazy?
Comments
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LMAO Nice one my lovely Gio, I will never be able to watch Mary Poppins with a straight face again lol. Great job and good luck!
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enjoying!
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Hey there This is your prompt for number 8: 8. Rewrite lyrics to a Disney song (any Disney song, but be sure to let me know which song you rewrote the lyrics for)
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