Decorated from my heart
I painted you my soul
and instead of gifting it away
tightly to it, I hold
what may have been
we will not know
because being alone is better
than the tears that wash
the blood away
In a list
A contest entry
- ---gold takes it all- - - by Xx.Toxic.xX.
1003 points, ended February 28, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 30-40 words of Brilliance #53 by AutumnGypsy.
700 points, ended February 22, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is one thing that stood out in this poem?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I havent checked up on you latley hope all is well with you...this piece is short simple to the point full of emotion and amazing,keep up the good work you are doing very very well and you have come along way since when we first met 2 many many trophies o.O im proud of ya lol
best of luck to you in the future and with your writing
andi
(redhanded)
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good write!
x-shadow-x -
Wow...
This was so heartbreaking.
Your last words are just wrenching, they make you feel as though everything has come apart.
Best to you in the contest
Shari
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This is so sad but written so beautifully. It was a wonderful journey you took me on. Best to you in the contest
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so very sad. but beautiful too
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a very sad piece. i especially like the last stanza.
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Glad you liked it...
I'm working on the fresh write now!
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This was a really good write hun.. though sad, I know I can relate to it.. thats why I buy MYSELF chocolates on V-day..lol.. drown myself in chocolate to forget the pain
.. I truly enjoyed this write.. may your next Valentines replace such memories...Best of luck in the contest!!
Angel
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I listened to your suggestion and changed that up as you said, thank you for the brilliant idea!
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that reads better..
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I like this, the flow is good, wondered if you meant 'giving in' rather than giving it...it seems a little awkward otherwise....this is a sad Valentine memory here C
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This is such a sad piece.
Valentine's day isnt exactly my favorite holiday lolz
Wonderful job though, and good luck to you!
♥ Kate
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My favorite lines from this are the second and third lines of the first stanza. I lovvle the idea so much of painting your soul, it's such a beautiful concept. Yay you for thinking of it.
As for the rest f the poem, I'm not quite sure I have much of an opinion, I'm too in love with those two lines to care about the rest honestly, although I did quite like the last stanza, it was interesting. And tears do actually work quite well for blood. Unless the blood is soaked into material, then tears totally suck.
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Metaphorically Terrific! Though it is quite sad that you’ll never know what could have been if you don’t step out on faith. Great write my friend with such a lot of emotions in so few words. Good luck in the contest. God Bless, Jo-Ann
“HAPPY VALENTINE NEPHEW”
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aw this is just so
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good luck in the contest and a happy valentines day
maralisa
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Oh how sad You really know how to pack emotion into your piece. A great piece indeed.
Best wishes in this contest.
Gaylene
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This is a really great poem, but being alone is never better then being with someone. Good job and good luck.
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Great metafors I see here,
well done!
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