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J.J. drove a truck and talked trash

"It's probably hot" JJ said
JJ was the guy that I worked with down at the chicken plant
We delivered chicken and eggs
He was the guy that told Mr. Hawk(the owner) right after he had given JJ a 10 cent an hour raise(after 3 years), It's OK Mr. Hawk, I'm just as ashamed of it as you are

It was a owl head thirty two, an Iver & Johnson.
they were called owl head, cause of they had owl's head on each grip
Like you were a smart idiot to buy one

It was chrome plated,and in good shape
and JJ knew I loved handguns
for $35.00 US dollars she was mine
I kept it under my pillow for a while
an would pull it out to see if it was still there

I took it once to test fire it,and found out that it "shaved" the bullets
somehow the cylinder did not line up with the barrel and it would
shave off a small piece of the lead, and throw it back at you.
sometimes they would hit you and sting real bad

I sold that gun some time ago, I don't remember to who
but every once in a while i see myself shooting some would-be burglar
with a gun that shot half a bullet.

Author notes

a Saturday Night Special revolver .

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 55 of 55

  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    From the picture to the last word
    I loved it all. You ARE a fantastic
    story teller, and would not be
    surprised to learn you have books
    published. This was a delight to
    read. Thank you for spreading
    laughter.

    ~Jeannie


  • ivoire gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply

    Riveting

    You were robbed this one should have garnered a gold. Don't know how I missed reading this one earlier. It has so much atmosphere. Love the language and really stunning imagery. You have a real knack for including all the fine detail that makes the scene so vivid. My grandfather shot himself in the head one night with a Saturday night special. The whole picture gun, person, outcome is always in my head.

    write some more-I love your work,

    ivoire


  • Mango Memories gold member
    September 30
    Edit | Reply
    Bravo!!

  • abu nuwas
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Love the ad!

    Can't someone supply the Taliban with fake AK-47s of the same nature, preferably with volatile ammunition? And simultaneously modify some bug - a lucust or two ,say- to eat only poppies. Dodgy guns, no money, no Taliban


  • Karra-Mayy
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    Cool Write

    I Enjoyed This

  • wow. that is actually a really good poem. told as if it were a nostalgic tale or story. I bet you would be a great story teller.

    I loved the way the tone of the piece was gentle, especially about a gun. and I loved the ending.
    rather inspiring actually.

    thats another thiong we don't have in england. guns.


    • Cup-a-Joe
      August 20
      Edit | Reply

      Fire,

      Thank you for reading about ole JJ. I appreciate that. He was qiute the dude.
      Ill be around to read some of yours.

      Joe


  • charcoal
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    david

    this is so well written.

    question: are all your poems written in this voice? i guess i'll have to find out for myself.


    • Cup-a-Joe
      August 18
      Edit | Reply
      Please read. you dont have to comment, (but ill pay you if you do)
      I really appreciate it.

      Joe


    • Cup-a-Joe
      August 18
      Edit | Reply

      coal dust,

      Thank you very much for reading this. (I ain't really a poet )
      Ole JJ he was a tall lanky boy that worked all day and always had a smile.

      Joe

  • Any burglar I would prefer to injest the whole bullet myself. That's just how I roll!
    Very cool write. Should be a short story. Cool read Joe!


  • Daxteriana
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm. Interesting. My dad had a gun like that before and shot a dude...you know..."down under". I don't like using the word but yeah, I understand you. Good old country folks need to stick together. I think you'd be good friends with my uncle. He served in VietNam too.

    Dax


  • A great read and a wonderful use of firearm lingo in this excellent piece. Keep up the terrific works.


  • My Chronos gold member
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    I love your story writing ability.

    • Cup-a-Joe
      July 1
      Edit | Reply

      Dreamiegirl,

      Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate the read, and comment.

      Joe

  • Wow, this is really great, I love how you really tell a story!!! wonderfull job!!!! Cratz on the trophy too!! I would give you more of the aplausy guys but im too cheap!!!!!!


    • Cup-a-Joe
      July 1
      Edit | Reply

      Missy,

      Thanks for reading my tale of my friend JJ. He was really a nut.
      Take care,

      Joe

  • oh, I love this!! congrats on the trophy...I love your story telling ability




    • Cup-a-Joe
      July 1
      Edit | Reply

      Catie,

      "dang computers* Thanks for reading. *i hate getting cut off*
      I appreciate you, *time to get a new one*

      Joe

  • Wonderful characterization here, and I love how the dialogue at the beginning sets up for his disappointment at the end. This was wonderfully told and I would love to read more about JJ.

    Great humor here too. Hawk. Subtly hilarious. Really enjoyed this.


    • Cup-a-Joe
      July 1
      Edit | Reply
      Sorry im late in responding. Thanks for reading, and commenting.
      JJ was a hoot. I am fixing towrite another about him'


      Joe

    • Cup-a-Joe
      July 1
      Edit | Reply

      Ten,


  • BabyBun silver member
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    Great storytelling. I would love to hear it spoken by you - bet you have a great accent! I love Americans!

    • Cup-a-Joe
      June 25

      Edit | Reply

      Stef.

      I thank you. I have a hillbillu accent.lol (i say youall)

      Joe

  • I really like poems like these. You've done a woderful job with this piece.


  • Dalaney gold member
    March 8

    Edit | Reply
    you are a natural born storyteller, Joe. I really like this. Thank you so much for entering the contest. love, lane


    • Cup-a-Joe
      March 9
      Edit | Reply

      Harvey,

      Thanks for reading, and the throphy!!! i appreciate it.
      It's so good to see you. Here have a
      Joe


  • JinSays gold member
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    Im lefthanded too, and proud of it. Half a bullet would be a bad thing I think.
    Wonderful story Joe.
    Love,
    jin


    • Cup-a-Joe
      March 1
      Edit | Reply

      Jin,

      How nice to see you drop in on one of my works. I really appreciate it. I think you and JJ would have hit it off.

      Joe


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting tale, but being English I know nothing about guns, nonetheless, your tale kept me reading to the end.

    All the best
    Sue x


    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 25
      Edit | Reply

      Sue,

      Never thought about that. We have always had guns around.
      Thanks for reading.
      Joe


  • Sandygram silver member
    February 19

    Edit | Reply

    Great Story

    So refreshing to read something different. Quite a nice story.I think mwe all had a job and boss like that.
    Better hope the liberals in congress don't try to ban all guns. Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest. Nice imagery to keep the reader interested. Take care, Sandy

    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 25
      Edit | Reply

      Sandy,

      Thanks for reading. I appreciate it. JJ aaand I had some fun.
      Joe

      • Sandygram silver member
        February 25
        Edit | Reply
        You are very welcome. It was my pleasure. Take care, Sandy


  • just mercedes gold member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    Great story here - I most like the 'would pull it out to see if it was still there', like a child at Christmas, unable to believe their good luck! Sweet.

    Reminds me of a rifle a friend gave me - it ejected the spent cartridges onto his arm, always making him jerk. I didn't realise you could have a left-handed gun until then.


    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 25
      Edit | Reply

      Mercedes,

      Left handed people had it rough in the Army. (no left handed rifles)
      Thanks for reading.
      Joe


  • Paloszoo gold member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    LOL. This is a cute story. We have a lot of guns at home, but I think they're all aligned properly Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck. It’s an honor to have you show your work here!


  • geckogirl silver member
    February 17
    Edit | Reply
    lol great story Joe


    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 17
      Edit | Reply

      G.G.

      Thanks. We worked hard on that job, but some days we had fun. I worked there about 3 years and the women called me David the whole time.
      Joe


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    February 15

    Edit | Reply
    this turned out great.
    as a gun lover of course i loved it


  • Amera gold member
    February 15

    Edit | Reply
    Ouch! I love this story and I learned something. I did not know what made a bad gun, now I do, this poem explained it perfectly.

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 15
      Edit | Reply

      Amera,

      Always check how tight the cylender is. A revolver with a loose cylender is only good to hang on the wall. Or just call me!!
      Thanks for reading.
      Joe


  • Megan E. Bloy
    February 15
    Edit | Reply
    Tee hee! Cute story


  • tara wilson gold member
    February 14
    Edit | Reply
    lolol....great story Joe.


    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 14
      Edit | Reply

      Tara,

      thank you!! I did't know if it turned out ok, but posted it anyway.
      Hope you have a great Valentines.

      Joe

  • Rowan gold member
    February 14

    Edit | Reply

    I love the grittiness of this. lol. Excellent character developement. The ending of S1 was terrific.
    What an interesting read, thanks!


  • Rheea gold member
    February 13

    Edit | Reply
    as a woman who carries concealed Wilson Combat 45 lite usually in a holster you surprise me. I also carry a Kershaw nato 55double edge and a boot knife when riding alone and camping alone . geeze brother maybe since I am not doing the work I use to I should cut down on my fire power you think? =)
    i like this poem did you ever "catch" chickens?



    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 13
      Edit | Reply

      Sis,

      I love your taste in guns. My kind of packing there.
      I have caught more chickens then Colonel Sanders
      Thanks for reading.
      Joe


  • klassy lassy
    February 13

    Edit | Reply
    I've never had one in my hand. My granddad bought me a rifle when I was about 12. I don't know what became of it. Maybe my stepdad sold it. (he had a colt 45 he treasured) That was ok... I wasn't much good at shooting prairie dogs, anyway. I was too charmed at their antics.


    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 13
      Edit | Reply

      Karen,

      That Colt would be worth some money. i love handguns, Had like 30 at one time. Sold most all of them, due to hard times and such.
      Thanks for reading. I allways appreciat it.

      joe


  • Justified Inc.
    February 13

    Edit | Reply

    Would be bugler (smiling)

    Oh this is funny! I had a saturday night special. It was suppose to be an automatic, but the thing jammed every other bullet. I think that is what it was? But anyways, my favorite part of your poem was the part when you would "pull it out just to see if it was still there!"
    That was pretty cool, and the half a bullet!!! OMG
    What a trip and 1/2!!!!!
    Never have heard of such a thing!
    he he
    Great write!
    Annette


    • Cup-a-Joe
      February 13
      Edit | Reply

      Annette

      Oh thank you. I was hopeing this would turn out ok. JJ and I worked a while back in the late 70's.
      Joe

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