Love is like a passing ship that sails in the night.
In view for but a moment, then slips out of your sight.
You set your sails into the wind and try to keep up pace,
But after many miles at sea, you give up on the chase.
Again you're left there drifting, abandoned and alone,
With nothing but an aching heart that you can call your own.
No tender touch to soothe you on this stormy ocean tide,
And all that you can feel is burning loneliness inside.
But when you least expect it a love will come your way,
The one that you have longed for will find you one fine day.
His eyes will be the compass that will steady your souls course,
And together you will sail away from all of life's remorse.
So when you feel downhearted from life's voyage that you take,
And when you think to fall in love is just a big mistake,
Don't give up on the battle to find a love that's true,
For over the horizon, real love waits for you.
A contest entry
- What's Love All About? by OldBear34.
700 points, ended February 28, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I'm glad you earned (haha) some hardware with this! Sorry for the bad pun! I agree with Ellis.
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I like the hope that I find in the closing stanza. Your rhyme is always perfection, and this stanza wraps everything up nicely. It's always a pleasure to read you and usually your words leave me smiling or sighing ... Always I find my self saying, "I wish I could write like that." You write seemingly without effort but I know such is not the case. I can only imagine what magnicifent words you would pen if you had the proper time and circumstances. This should have won some gold.
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Delightful Wonderful Poem -- True, Too
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Sails.. In the first line, I feel I have to pronounce it with two syllables for it to fit, but then in the rest of the poem I feel I need to pronounce it with one. I'd naturally pronounce it with one.
The last line.. it's quite short (unless I add a second syllable into 'real'). I think half the world would like the effect it has, and half would not. I think I'd rather two more syllables, but only because I'm desperate to read it the way I want to.
Very nice. I particularly like 'With nothing but an aching heart that you can call your own.', though I'm not sure why.
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Wow.
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I Like It
Great Job!
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This is truly a good poem, filled with understanding of what the search for love is like. Yes, it seems like you'll never have another after each ends and then the next one will show up out of the blue. And, each time you hope it's going to be the one. I've been down that road so many times I think I'm giving up the search, but I know I'll always have one eye open and still keep hoping.
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Awh!
I liked it.
Not my fave by yah, but, for the first time in a LONG time..
I just can't feel it..
Something is either off or something..
I'm just missing, not all the emotion, but like a part of it that feels important, and well, I can feel it on the right side of my head, if that makes sense...
What part of emotion do you sense with the right lobe of your brain?
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ya know, in defense of rakerman1, I must say that a critique is supposed to be 1st of all, supportive of the poem, then helpful in some specific way. This is neither. This just adds enough characters of type to get points. here is one site I have found helpful in the past. http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewArticle.asp?id=16980
As to the mention of right vs left modes of thinking, this site was helpful. http://www.funderstanding.com/content/right-brain-vs-left-brain
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Amazing poem
Inspiring write. Very true as well.
Loved reading it!
♥
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Some well-shared ...
metaphors for this oh, so touchy subject of love! We just can't predict the future and so must standby while the man-in-charge of all guides us through this maze called life! I so enjoyed your rhymes and forms and I only have one suggestion for the last line. "For over the horizon, real love waits (there) for you. Happy Valentine's Day ...
j
y
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sounds sweet, endearing and down right wonderful.
but some never find another love.
guess thats life.
and it did happen once when I least epected it, so I don't expect it to happen again.
thanks for the read.
have a nice day.
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