Admiring the curves, washed vibrant upon the horizon~
misplacing each stride, stumbling over the day ~ dazed.
Blush tinted daydreams play symphonies across my face.
Oh, how I wanted your fingers gliding through my hair…
Then maybe… a soft whispered secret upon my ear.
Your melodic timbre, guiding expertly each restless shiver.
Take me away…. I wish upon the dream of that moment.
Moonlight beckoned brightly, behind ribbon like clouds.
Each lunar stream highlighting the nights missed intentions,
longing to go back and redo my first impression.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Beautiful...
Romantically radiant sensual sublime... ~Redo Adieu~ sings to desires in poetic majestic.
In respect and admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
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I love the creative title.
I love the first two stanzas in this most of all. I love the metaphor in the last part of the first stanza. Beautifully expressed sensuality!
Don
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Wow! What an excellent poem. Your first and third stanzas completely blow me away. The way you start, "Admiring the curves, washed vibrant upon the horizon~ misplacing each stride, stumbling over the day ~ dazed," gives such a stunning visual. Very nice work!
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I guess I read it somewhat differently than the others. It's that longing for the dream, what what was hoped for but not achieved. "Missed intentions" two people with different aims, misread signs, Desires that read into those signs what wasn't there.
How often do we dream fantasies that are not true...we create of a situation what we desire, and are let down when it doesn't reach our expectation.
So I didn't see it as a mere desire to return to a sensuous moment, but a longing for that moment that never materialized. But then I often read more than the author actually intended, so I apologize if I've read too much.
Either way it's quite beautiful in its subtle tones.
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Take me away…. I wish upon the dream of that moment.
Moonlight beckoned brightly, behind ribbon like clouds.
love these lines you are so gifted from beginning to end this seductive in mind going back to the first impression made me smile
well penned very sensual
Hugs Angel♥
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You show delightfully that rhyme and a rigid meter are not essential to beautiful lyrical poetry,
Beautiful work here
Thank-you for the entry.
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Great imagery with a touch of romance. You have done a good job with the long lines.
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I am the same way...this form is way out of my comfort zone but you made it seem so second nature....It was filled with beauty! The long lines worked well to fill the fill the reader with the emotions you were longing to convey!! Excellent job and best wishes here....
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Beautiful! The only word I question is the first - seems so ugly compared with the rest. Something softer, perhaps?
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These are beautiful long lines. Very very nicely done. ~Pamela
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wow!!!!!!!!! this was realy gooood!!..and bueatiful!!
i loved it..nice work!!!!!!!!!! (your avatar that you have of this momment gose realy good with this!!) nice job..all the best luck on the contest!!!!!!!!!!!!
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picturesque memories!
Oh, how I wanted your fingers gliding through my hair…
Then maybe… a soft whispered secret upon my ear.
Your melodic timbre, guiding expertly each restless shiver. " these lines have taken me to dreams! Lovely picture in words! Title is quite meaningful and the concluding line is most befitting!
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"longing to go back and redo my first impession." I've thought that before too! Like the introspection and the soft romance mentioned in stanza 2! Lovely writing.
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These are in fact lovely "long" lines, leaving an impression upon the reader. Well writ.
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