slowly the moon slides
in front of the sun
covering its light with her shape
and changes day into night
in that brief encounter
the moon and the sun meet
an eclipsed instant
on a Valentine's day
Author notes
my own romantic (maybe little sad) thought of the sun and moon
In a list
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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HOODWINKED !
Interesting thought considering a romantic link between the Sun and the Moon, never thought of it in that way before but it opens up some lovely thoughts. Thanks for sharing this imaginative and magical veiw.
Write on dear Poet.
You have been Hoodwinked by the Poetic Bandits today because WE CARE!
Dennis
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Of course I've seen an eclipse and you've described it well, an enjoyable poem,thanks
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How lovely, to have sun and moon in a romantic interlude however brief.
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Quiet simplicity
I found this very lovely, because of its simple brevity, capturing a thought. The romantic sadness of a sad romance, perhaps.
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Very nice....the personification of sweet embrace you have attributed to the solar eclipse....very well written I might add!
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I came looking for you, Mari – miss you around here….
and then I remembered I told you about the Afrikaans poem, the rhyming one, I once wrote, the one that was published in “As die son kom oogknip” (when the sun blinks) about the eclipse and that you said you would like to read it. so here it is:
met nuwemaan
met nuwemaan het jy
voor die son kom staan,
die dag gebreek,
die vroegoggendlig
in donkerder skadu’s versteek.
met nuwemaan het jy
die son kom vang,
die môrelied gekaap
‘n hart se vroeë vlug
herroep tot slaap.
met nuwemaan het jy
die son onttroon,
die somer verwinter:
seer oë knip
teen die stralekrans van gister
© Nicolette
’s to you, liewe Mari
~ Nicolette
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Dank je lieve Nic! Het gedicht is zooooooooo mooi!
You rhyming in Afrikaans, and did it so well, you should post some of those on your page. Lovely rhythm and sight.
Thank you beautiful one
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Ah..this is just beautiful image and wonderful description you crafted and expressed in words..love it...thanks for sharing..
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I read this again today, as if for the first time, and i found many remarkable things, how the moon changes the world to her particular form...silver glow in a black sky; and the meeting on a day dedicated to the ideal of love, rededicates the day by an act...and this is the lesson for us..we can act, to make a day...wonderful...h ...
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Beautiful!
that brief encounter all too short, yet so lovely, maybe a bit sad, but the 'eclipsed instant' is so special and reminds me there is hope as well, though so brief.
Sigh, ((((you)))
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Reminds me of the movie Ladyhawk with Michele Pfifer in it I think.. Be well~
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YES!!!
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I love thiss(:
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excellent~
I poked my head out just a bid from my front door hoping to catch a glimpse of this but was so sick couldn't stand the cold sis...had to pop back in.....
Now I have a viral infection and barely made into the contest....just now posted my poem
I do hope you come by and give mine a read
I love this poem sis
Beautiful........
Hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
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This was a beautiful piece... with just the right hint of love. One could almost feel the sadness as it begins to fade away. Lovely!
41
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Dear Mariza,
On Friday 13th. did that eclipse occur?
That's a very bad omen I stoutly aver
and I think it is possibly Gaze who is right
to lock all the doors and stay home for the night.
For who knows with the coming of Valentine's Day
she might be attacked by some psychotic stray
Or someone who isn't quite right in the head
could break down the door and attack her in bed.
But I ask: If a girl goes to bed with a gun,
how on earth is she going to get any fun?
If she scares all the lurking marauders away,
she''ll lose any chance to get rolled in the hay.
and whatever the size of her waist or her hips
she won't see any light on the night of eclipse.
I think that's what you were trying to hint at in your poem wasn't it?
Applause anyway, with love and hugs, XXX Hugh.
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beautiful albeit the brief encounter...yes, not sad but there's beauty amidst the darkness
Happy Valentine's Day Mari
Anna Lee
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I like this. I don't even think it’s sad it's life like. --- Thank you.
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I have an Afrikaans poem (and it's a rhyming one, lol) about the eclipse. It was published in a book here in SA. Mine is a little sad too but I guess that is the way an eclipse makes us feel.... that short meeting... Beautifully written, Mari.
~ Nicolette
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Ah, you rhyming!!! I would like to read one of your poems written in Afrikaans
Thanks lieve Nic
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There is rarely a loss but more often an exchange in every meeting. One
can focus on what was lost in an encounter or see what was gained by
the meeting. This write is romantic indeed...
Hugs...Eddy
Tech:
the a could be dropped in the last line with no loss overall. This would
bring it possibly from any V Day to perhaps the current one.
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Very nice... i like the feeling here of the sun and moon, as if everything else is an afterthought, and while the eclipse does not remain... so there is a hint of something missing... but the moon remains a bright reflection. Beautiful poetry...PK
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Better background now
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Yes, the other was a oops
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I can see the sadness, there...you use effective language to allow that to work. Couple that with the soft female image of the moon "her paleness" suggests demure, I think.
"Brief encounter" ...there is the sadness...then the use of the words, "eclipsed instant" which in this case suggests over and gone, like an eclipse, but like those two ships that pass in the night, to use a trite metaphor.
Add to that the day...Valentine's day...how sad, and to think this isn't contrived, you did see this tonight.
Romantic sure, but with your touches that make it work!
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