The turkey feather that you put on my nighttable exactly 22 days into our relationship is still there, along with the hope that you will ever miss me. My best friend asked me why it was on my nighttable, and I regret telling her. Actually, I regret the actions I made for it to be a true story.
I.
It was a warm, mid-June morning when I met you. Throngs of obnoxious spoiled rotten brats, also know as my fellow classmates, filed onto the boat for which we could all be riding on. But then there was you.
You were a needle in a haystack; you were one in a million.
II.
Ever since the day we met, we became instant friends. For two whole weeks, we laughed at blowing chewing gum bubbles and popping them all over our noses. We spent recess chatting eachother up while almost crashing into the sky as we rode side by side on the swings.
I remember telling you that I liked the pair of American Eagle jeans you were wearing. The day after, you brought in the tag that said bootcut, 30" waist with your cell phone number written on the back.
I still remember your cell phone number to this day.
III.
On the last day of school, there was a schoolwide barbeque. Afterwards, we went to the beach together. It was the first time we had ever spent out of school, and you told me that you liked me more than as just a friend. I agreed, even though it wasn't true at the time.
IV.
I spent the rest of the summer making foot sized imprints on the sand with you, sometimes wishing I could hold your hand. I took a monthlong trip to California to visit my oldest brother, who was stationed as a navy doctor, working at the naval base.
We talked on the phone every single day.
By the time I came back from my short but sweet sebatical, we had decided to become more than just friends.
V.
You became my everything the day I came back from California; also known as the first day of school.
You were my sun, my moon, and my stars.
The thing I loved most about you was your kindness towards others. You acted as if you were Mother Teresa, always welcoming anyone with your warm smile. But most of all, you loved me like no one had ever before. Everyone around us could tell.
VI.
As Nelly Furtado says, "all good things come to an end."
We ended in more of a black hole effect, sucking any warmth I had been feeling right out of my body. All I was left with was cold, black coal. I broke up with you, yet I was the one who kept telling you how much I missed you.
If only it hadn't been too little, too late.
Author notes
inspired by this poem:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5049929
my page:
http://allpoetry.com/janeloveshellokitty
4. write about lost love, or getting your heart broken.
In a list
A contest entry
- For my favourites and the 'Beautiful Minds Dark Addictions' group by Winged Unicorn.
700 points, ended February 26, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i am boreeeeed.. =[ by written-in-ink.
900 points, ended March 2, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP X Factor 2 - Auditions by sideways hourglass.
550 points, ended February 27, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANNA CLICK IT. by Xxnightmare21xx.
625 points, ended March 2, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - a prewritten contest for everyone by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended March 1, 148 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just A Little Odd [group members only] by Kathraina.
785 points, ended March 2, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what should i change?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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wow that was amazing. I've never read anything like it.
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pieces like this make me wish i could pull off writing prose.
amazing job. -
Another wonderful prose piece.
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Lovely stroy.
I love what you've done with this piece.
Great job!
Thank you for entering and good luck
♥ kate
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wow, i can feel so many emotions coming from this poem. You had me sucked in and then boom. the sadness. wow, thank you for entering my contest
Your Judge
Kaycee
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yes.
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Yes
This has a middle school feel to it, but I see potential here, because the writing itself is good.
You'll be successful in the contest though if you can write with a more mature tone and use more [original] metaphors and imagery. I'm giving you a "yes" because I see potential here.
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x] im sorry.. i usually do write with a more mature tone.. this poem feels like middle school because it was written about a boy I met at the end of 7th grade.. and dated in 8th..
I'll keep it in mind not to enter anything else about middle school. x]
p.s. I added the link to my page. -
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Haha, alrighty.
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Wow
This is a great piece, it's like a short story and it really makes oyu feel for the first person narrative. Very moving : ) -
oh wow
i love this
so much
i mean
i have never seen this come out of you
and i think it is amazing
<333
i like how you eneded it
amazing
thank you love
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thank you.. and the first stanza is true..
[it is a true story]
the reason I never had this come out of me is because it always hurt to think about it...
but now I'm ok. :]
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love and heartbreak never a fun thing.. i hope you feel better
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it took a while...
but i think it do.
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wow. what a sad but beautifully captivating story.
i feel honored that you were inspired by my poem. this is amazing.
i love the first stanza.. that intro was amazing. there was so many beautiful images in this piece. the ending is my favourite tho.
i hope things work out for you <3 -
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with this boy? they never will work out.
but its ok because I found another one.
:] -
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woooh.. well hope this new boy works out for you
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eh.... its not I'm ever going to love him like the one I wrote about in this short story/poem
but hes cute, makes me laugh, and a good kisser so I guess I'll settle....
x]
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