With rules as masters rather than tools,
and the buck stopping nowhere,
We disconnect via cell phone and internet.
Hollywood morality sets our compass;
Celebrity villains and quick forgotten heroes;
And the clocks say "tick...tick...tick".
All bets hinge on the illusory dollar -
and we've grown cozy with the "no pass line";
More hungry, more poor, more sick than ever.
And the clocks say "tick...tick....tick".
Rainbows remind us that floods are out -
only stop-gap efficiency there, anyway.
Perhaps global warming will do the trick.
And the clocks say "tick...tick...tick".
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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clap clap
I enjoyed it.
In fact, you echoed my sentiments on the issues basically verbatim.
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You're so right. Time keeps moving no matter what we do or don't do, and all will be washed away by it. We can try to make the world a little better but there's never any guarantee it will stay that way if we succeed. I think this mentality is behind most of the evil in the world. It's a "Who cares? Nothing matters anyway" mindset that makes all effort pointless, and good and bad relative terms, not absolutes. I just do my best to be kind and hope that it will make a difference to someone somewhere, as it does to me and the soul I have to carry with me forever. You're kindness indicates that we're the same that way, which is probably why we get along so well.
And the clock says . . .
M
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Time is constantly moving. the message in this is so true to today's take on things. you have captured the essence of how laid back a society had become. i like the structure of this because it gives it fluidity without taking away the serious tone.it has a time to sit up and take notice tone and the strength of it enforces the tone. i am pleased very much with this one.
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Myopia
Floods are out and fires are in
warming to the world's skin
tick...tick...tick!
Scary, isn't it?
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"Rules our masters rather than tools,and the buck stops nowhere;" to me, seems incomplete - - as if these two lines need two more to follow - matching the other stanza breaks - i lke the trick - tick and wonder if the rhyme could not be utilized in the other stanzas as well - sick slick brick..."frict?" WhatEVer , its good to read you once more, and as i've said b4 - you have grown in your skill - sound seems to have a larger part in what you are writing now. blessings and best wishes,
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Excellent feedback, my friend.
As you can see, I took your input to heart and changed that couple of lines to read:
"Rules as masters rather than tools,
and the buck stops nowhere;"
Now, if I could just resolve the issues I'm having with the line:
"Hollywood morality has cost our compass;"
As for our relative growth, I strongly disagree. Your poetry seems to have developed quite a bit since last I was here.
I have not chased the Muse for nearly two years. And, as you know, she rarely stays where she can't be center stage. I was not able to allow her that attention. My son had a near fatal and almost completely debilitating head injury in July of 2007.
He is recovering amazingly well, though. He is in college now and working - miracles both of those achievements, really. I think if you detect a change in my writing, it probably has more to do with a shift in life outlook and priorities than any real growth on my part.
But I value your generous compliments....and I thank you for them. Ever the gentle gentleman. Some things are immutable.
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No no no you didn't return too soon. I've missed you. This is a different style from what I remember. Interested to know where it is coming from or what brought you here. Very reflective, a bit preachy, but not in a bad way. You're not wagging your finger. Just informing us.
Not sure I'm reading this the way it was meant. I haven't been around much myself and sort of gotten away from reading and writing.
Glad to see you back.
Desiree
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Desi! I missed you!
Thank you for the input. I was actually feeling pretty preachy when I wrote this....in a very bitchy sort of holier-than-thou kind of way. You hit it on the head. Astute as ever. I think sometimes poetry needs to take a dominatrix tone of voice with readers. Makes the sticky-sweet and disconnected personas more lovable if nothing else. But....that's my opinion....which, you know, along with about $4.95 will getcha a double low-fat latte at most Starbuck's.
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