Look away
But I wont say goodbye
Not for long…
Not for long…
Look into my eyes
Get lost into my pain
But when I’m with you
It all goes away.
I want to do the right thing.
But it always goes wrong.
Hate this feeling make it go way.
Stay awhile,
See me for me.
Angel with broken wings
A smile to hide,
The sadness within me.
Look at with hope
So I can forget everything
No tears will fall on this wounded soul.
Hug me once more,
Take it all away.
A contest entry
- within your arms, I feel by Remnant.
430 points, ended February 18, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your pre-writes. by still.she.waits.
400 points, ended February 22, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~From the heart~ by Serenity-words.
2700 points, ended February 20, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Feel The Love? by Abstract Image.
400 points, ended March 9, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This did not rhyme at all.. although it was a very good write as my number one rule i said MUST RHYME.. im going to have to remove you from my contest!
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it's certainly sad. but nothing about this speaks to me. there's not one image that makes me think that this is memorable. you've done a whole lot of telling, but no showing..
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Stay awhile,
See me for me.
Angel with broken wings
A smile to hide,
The sadness within me.
Awww...I love this. It's such a beautiful write -
Aw such a sad beautiful poem. it gave my heart a small squeeze...thanks for entering GL.
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Great job
This is a wonderful write
thank you for putting this into my contest.
Only suggestion
Stanza 5, sounds a little ackward.
I would think about changing some words around.
But it's all up to you, that's just my suggestion.
Other than that, great job, and good luck! -
I really like this. Its really good and it conveys feelings that few are lucky enough to feel. One suggestion though. You spelled wings wrong. You have a r im it. Lol. But its a bettietl write.
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wow i love this its amazing. good luck!!!!!!
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Painful, with a tender touch to it
Nicely done -
i love this poem! i dont think you need to change one bit of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is so sweet and i just love it!
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ahh angel with broken wings ...
like the last stanza, look at with hope!
Yes...
thanks for sharing this - you have expressed it well- pleasure reading
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