stars crawl over twilight
stabbing sky
with narrow edges
in my eye
everything is too invisible to believe
next door,
a young mother teaches son
to say ma
the bold woman with glasses
is beating her daughters again
bold neighbour who lives off her own salary
and kicked mr. drunkard out of their house
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dear mr. drunkard,
at night i hear you sob
your sound softer than rain
so that people like me can come and read stories from your face,
write poems comparing you to
bush or tree
i have seen you flower
when i speak to you
tiny flowers that shake pollen from their shells
i am singing
on their behalf
love,
silence
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under shadows of my hair
a tree blossoms
and dies
Author notes
it's not really different from my usual - but there is something that is so different that i can feel when i wrote this piece
A contest entry
- everytime you think you're looking, you're just looking down by film.
400 points, ended March 1, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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i love the ending. wow.
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the thing that I have always found bothersome about this kind of poetry is that it has an ineffective quality to it because the writer isn't actually IN the situation, they are simply observing it. I have always thought that takes a lot away from the poem, in an emotional aspect.
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under shadows of my hair
a tree blossoms
and dies
so unbelievably beautiful. <3
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thanks.
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I love the humanity in this piece - tangible and written with such insight and compassion. Wonderful style too - like 3 poems/styles in one. Great observations and imagery - real, yet delivered with a eye that sees deeper than the obvious. Loved it!!
~ Nicolette
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thanks Nic... see here is the tree poem
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and such powerful, adult material -- really good hun.
you are such an old soul...
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wow -- this is really good, written a little more conversational than your normal, and i really like it, it's really clear to the reader, very well done, beautiful & creative imagery.
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meh
god i wuv your display pic... who is that cute baby?? -
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i like the letter bit inside the brackets.. but just don't "bracket" it....
divide the whole thing with a "-" or a "." from the previse stanzas...
thanks. she is my cousin
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awww what's her name? -
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labiba.
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i wanna hug her!! she's the cutest on earth! *hug-labiba*
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she is such lying chatterbox too.. she used to call me "aziza" when she was two...(aziza being harder than esha) and now she calls me "xenin"... she is so cute
indeed.
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awww.. i wanna meet her one day!
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she will eat up your ready... be careful
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