I'm in the brink of death and life,
and the bridge is burning,
I am in the middle of a perfect strife,
and death is what I'm longing.
Don't make your judgmental eyes pass,
I won't bother what would it be,
I don't mind if it's way too brash,
as as you would put an end to me.
I've been betraying you for so long,
didn't even keep steadfast on my integrity,
but please, don't make this guilt prolong,
cause I know, I should never be free.
Please don't make my heart endure so much pain,
Rather, make it quick, swift, fast,
my heart, my blood, is already drained,
Please don't make this thing last.
I am no longer fine in Your loving hands,
nor would I be reborn again,
I know that you should have let go of me in advance,
cause I'll always be Your burden.
I'm in the brink of death and life,
and it's only You who would choose,
I am in the middle of a perfect strife,
and make my hold loose.
Death, I'm pleading you,
come to me and take me away,
because that's the only thing that you must do,
for followers who go astray.
So please let it be,
let death come,
don't help me!
just let it come...
Author notes
Sorrow, Despair, perfect loneliness...
- The freedom to promote your poems and group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Sorrow by XxForeverFaithfulxX.
1055 points, ended February 14, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want GRIEF!! by DinkyDiver.
700 points, ended November 8, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - An Apology by Samcat.
400 points, ended April 16, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
A comment would help me grow...:)
Comments
-
Originality: (7/10)
Emotion: (7/10)
Poetic devices: (14/20)
Structure/flow: (8/10)
Cohension: (8/10)
Title relating to poem: (8/10)
Personal opinion: (7/10)
Syntax: (7/10)
Diction: (7/10)
Total:73/100
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wow I can sense the dispair in this beautiful write; You got me there!! made me feel it, great use of words and imagery thankyou so much for sharing this with me xxx
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amazing..
This is so..amazing! I loved it! The sorrow and despair in this is just perfect!
"So please let it be,
let death come,
don't help me!
just let it come..."
This was my favorite part. Thank you for entering and good luck. Keep up the amazing work.
~Kayla
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