I've been down on my knees
all morning
pushing this old scrub brush
across the deep grains
of kitchen floor
praying my boy
will get his hard head cracked
real good,
finally heed my words
and all the while
putting on a show
for his daddy who suddenly
admires the grooves
of clean wood
Author notes
Prompt Poet: Lucille Clifton
See contest page for a fantastic prompt poem!
In a list
A contest entry
- So amazing : Lucille Clifton by Peteskid.
1800 points, ended February 28, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I thought I had commented on this poem before and am sorry that I did not. I love this slice of life, and the hominess so clearly reflects Clifton's type of imagery. Whether doing such mundane jobs as scrubbing floors or working in a professional capacity outside the home, most women are adept at focusing on several things at the same time and their families are never far from their thoughts. Congratulations on your silver trophy. Peace and hugs, Liz
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Wow this is wonderfully written, full of splendid images.
Brilliant depth and meening within these words or poetry.
I picture a young boy sliding across the floor showing off for his father,
and a father who enjoy's you scrubbing to show off his floor
I hope Im close, be blessed in all you do.
Tony
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now this is poetry. the mundane exalted into art. the second stanza is great.
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Very simple, short & sweet. Though it made me think, great write! (:
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There's a lot of wondering to do about the people in this short but interesting portrait of a family... I don't like the sound of the husband... really nice poem
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this is a very good thank you for sharing it was hort and sweet but strait to the point great job on the trophy thanks for sharing
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This was good, but I had to smile a bit while reading, just picturing how that head needs smacked. 
Great imagery, you kind of took me into your thoughts. Congrates on the silver. Peace. Timothy
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It takes a poet to see something romantic in scrubbing the floors... I really like the write. good job. Write on, poet.
Blessings,
Myth -
l.o.l.
wow!, i love this! l.o.l. dad 'suddenly' likes the grooves in the floor huh? excellent my friend!
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This was so real and genuine. I loved it. :]
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Excellent!
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This reflects Lucille Clifton's poem so very well, but in your own voice. Good one this!
~ Nicolette
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What an intimate view into the workings of woman! I admire the way each piece interlocks
at the end to create a very realistic portrait,
a single glimpse meant to flex so as to fit our own life experiences. Blue
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lol...what a situation going on here...i know what you mean, sometimes it has to happen to them before they learn.
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Oh how control is the silence of soul in the mist of the mirror
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Ahhh this is wonderful ten. A very succinct piece and very much in the style of Clifton. I liked the brevity with which you displayed such emotion, allowing us to see the everyday of the woman but also the complexity of her thoughts.Wonderful imagery. Just excellent from start to finish. Lucille would be proud, hugs, Bunny
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Just superb as always. Such a thoughtful piece, as is the prompt. You have certainly done this justice. But with your talent, it seems so easy!
Best wishes in the contest.
Gaylene
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The imagery is great, the kitchen floor visible. The family ineraction is seen with clarity and love. I like this poem - best of luck in the contest.
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a serious side and a humorous side to this poem so much in the tradition of Lucille Clifton, imagery that is simple yet striking, a woman in her thoughts of family...cautionary for the son, so interesting for the Father figure; a wonderful succinct display here. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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