nostalgia

It is funny how nostalgia works.

I have periods in my life that I associate with certain songs and movies and things.
The smell of a roast cooking makes me think of my childhood at my grandma's.  I can actually picture her leaning over the bar in her kitchen with her hands clutched together, fingers woven like the hem of a dress.

Occasionally, I am taken to other times of romance and courting.  I still think of a certain him when I smell one particular deodorant.  It's funny that I was convinced he was my life at one point, yet I am reminded of him only when I smell generic masculine antiperspirant.

I can't even remember how to spell his last name.

It was a tricky Italian one anyway.  I was not even myself when we crossed paths, but I did not know it then.

I find myself in a transition period full of conundrums and comfort.

The girls are the universe and everyone and everything revolves around them like satellites.  Everyday, I am in awe of their very presence and my part in it. 

But there is a song that will not get outta my head and I'm not sure I want it to.  It immediately connected itself to my cerebral cortex and won't let go.  It is nothing like I am used to and I am not even sure I understand it.

And for whatever reason, it reminds me of you.  You haven't even heard it, but my brain tells me that it's an integral part of this specific time period in the grand scheme of me.

So are you.

Whatever that means.