i.
I paced between apologies and false accusations of sympathy. The beds of my fingernails
wouldn't allow me to reach out and rebuild the pieces of your heart with super glue anymore;
you had become irreparable, & no matter how many ounces of apathy was cemented against my lungs,
it wasn't my place to recollect the missing puzzle pieces to complete your stature.
I couldn't quarantine myself from creating illusions of [im]perfection inside of my mind;
and you wouldn't allow yourself to care.
The dirt-covered floor masked your coherent whispers. You punctured my ribs with a
stabbing ignorance that trembled throughout your vocal chords. But, being formerly
used and short of innocence,
I was flattered by invective fascination,
and you complicated my simplistic ideals by penetrating my veins with dependence.
I relied on you to conquer my fairytale bliss, but I was mistaken,
because you couldn't even grasp for your own;
ii.
Adam and Eve;
naive and nonvirulent;
doodling hearts on three-binder notebooks and picking off petals from flowers screamed 'desperation'
from the corners of my dominant senses. I knew what I was getting myself into when your lips scraped
against my neck and butterflies swarmed up the crevice of my spine, but I continued to let infatuation
filter inside of my pores and contaminate my knowledge of the fatal consequences.
You refused commitment,
I refused love.
but sonnets soaked into my blood and drugged curiousity;
I became aware of temptation, & jotted down my emotions in ink.
That way, I could never erase what was real.
iii.
Tabitha; (n.) Greek name meaning 'gazelle,'
I studied the origins of what fit my blended personality best;
with every passing window, I eyed myself suspiciously in the reflection.
You found me intriguing,
I found myself sharp-eyed yet so incredibly irrational, & it left a distasteful gut-wrenching
feeling inside of my stomach, because everything that I had become,
was nothing but a mirror image of your own self pity, and I didn't want to drown with you anymore.
iv.
Unfortunately, I coddled and gave in to your child-like disguise. You embedded me into your
time and plucked out melodies on your acoustic guitar as a plea for me to stay. I bit my tongue
and examined your cerulean infused eyes;
did you only tamper with the thought of my company
because you knew I wasn't close to running away[?]
regardless, your bubblegum pink lips lingered with corruption
and my conscience was drifting out of vision;
even if I stumble and fall apart unconditionally,
I can't stand alone in your shadow
and begin to believe my own stimulating lies;
& I might not deserve much,
but I know for a fact
that I deserve more than that.
Silver trophy winner
Honorable mention
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