Their applause is spent and sprinkled
on their pates by the sprays and salts,
The great cliffs
-whose silence is incautious of meter, cadence, proposition, presentation, examination, appeal, re-presentation
and everything else that the little man reddens himself over and screams into their ears.
B-
Crash
-Ut-
Crash
with-
Crash crash crash
-out
Crash crash crash crash
And so on.
He is frustrated. They can so easily get a crowd roiling.
He doesn’t notice the great hunks of rock stung by the salt and rapidly consumed by the waves.
Author notes
A scene in which Diogenes cannot realize the sacrifice afforded by the Cliffs in order to attain the applause of the Waves.
A contest entry
- Pick a word - Write a poem in 10 LINES or Less (O) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended February 22, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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All Poetry and no reflection makes jackshit of Dull Critique
I would suggest, in light of the author's note, using the name Diogenes in place of the abstract "he", over whom it is said frustration reigns like a salt spray, drying in his melancholy, ready to get roiling like the sea before him boiling.
The piece spoke to me of too much criticism paid attention to. If the author's page is anything to go by, then I can but be saddened that an opus of good advertising for his work has gone down the gurgler, like an abortion in a bath tub.
All Poetry and no reflection makes jackshit of a dull critique.
But no matter; and how would I know?
I can say the cut-up aspect worked well for me in condensing what I had begun to see, but I did not see cliffs or a man standing on rocks while facing the waves as the rock beneath him wore away, facing outward too long, too many a day.
Still, good work, hey?
MA
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I always did like your ability to write such odd, but captivating pieces. It is the strangness in your writing that makes it so original. Not your best piece, but still amazing.
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I can easily envision this scene displayed as written and feel the salt in the air. Clifts have often fascinated me.
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This is original, unpredictable and eloquent as ever. I especially liked the third stanza.
I'm afraid I really have no criticism to offer you, but I enjoyed reading this, as always.
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