states of euphoria.

I'll remember those nights like they were my last,
and I will cherish your face like you were my first,
i'll hold the phone until I fall asleep waiting on a call that still hasnt come,
but i'm not ready to live my life without you.
remember that night when we flew through the streets like our hearts had wings?
I'm missing your laughter, raucous as it was,
and i'm withering in my house alone,
medications piling up on my mantle,
and scars piling up on my resume.
god will never want me now.
i'm the biggest wreck you've ever met,
but tell me how you loved me.
remember that night you kissed me until our lips were sore?
I want every detail of our time together to stay etched in my brain,
making it impossible to forget how unbelievable you were.
I dont ever want to love again.
I've meant the words i've said, tiptoeing around you and ducking into shadows,
I want to be nothing less than perfect for you,
but i've never been enough.
no, i'll never be enough.

-lacerationxllama