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Embarrassed Valentine!

  i got a card
on valentine day
it looked boring
but my heart
was not longer grey

i told my mates
they said that's cool
i daydreamed all night
and made a card too

the one who sent one to me
was called Clifford Vee
i didn't know who this was
i even asked my mum
but she said
'first you need to
read the letter Hun'

i didn't bother to read it
i basically knew what it was gonna say
'happy valentine day
when i finished my card i made
i sent it to Clifford Vee
in the school post office
i was so happy with me

i wondered all day
and dreamed away
who Clifford  vee   
was to me
i pictured a cute boy
and a smile so happy

i told my friends
of the name Clifford Vee 
and that he liked me
but they just laughed
and ran away

and left me wondering
for all of the day
who is Clifford  Vee  ?

the next day at school
i found out
who is Clifford  Vee
and i got embarrassed 
with wobbly knees

i found that
my head teacher
was called Clifford  Vee
and he  didn’t  send me
a valentine card
it was a school report
for my mum to see   

A contest entry

Any thoughts?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • oceanbluize
    February 27, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Ok, this was awesome Lana. I loved the ending especially. It make me laugh...clever girl. I do wish you would have capitalized all of your letter I's. The poem however, in its content is original. I love that fact. Thank you for sharing Lana, best of luck in the contest, and that school report...

    Ocean.


  • Sweet-Sins
    February 24, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    omg this was wonderful- it had a twist at the end!!!!! It's Brilliant! Weldone! keep on writing!
    xxx


  • TheShadowsOfMe
    February 21, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    LOL

    Wow! Hilarious, well written. Flows very nicely. Well done!


  • Jessieprincessi
    February 21, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    that's too bad. nice work. Happy Valentines.


  • KandyGirlKim
    February 12, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    LOL!!
    that was funny. it made me laugh out loud for real!

    i liekd your poem.


  • Little Sam
    February 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    lol, this was a fun read all the way through. Did it really happen? I could picture that happening to me. Good luck in the contest.
    little sam

1 - 11 of 11