.the acid messed my head up and now when i'm alone i hear a bunch of nonsense and people saying my name and strange strange things.
.i did cocaine a lot more than i will ever admit to anyone. it was never a daily habit but it was a weekly one. i hid it from most everyone and even now most people don't know how often i was out of my mind, even at school.
.sometimes i wonder if i love him just because he walked away.
.other times i think i love him because he showed me who i really was and made me never want to waste a day and now... i can't walk away. i know he fucked her and i know i probably have no chance. but i can't give up hope. i love him, you know.
.i am a figure of my own imagination.
.i only flirt so much with other people because i'm trying to make him jealous.
.i don't think i've had sex sober within the past year of my life. and the year before that, i think i had sober sex maybe a handful of times. i barely remember any of it.
.when other little girls made their barbies go on dates, my barbies were fucking in various locations. my sister and i were both molested when we were little by one of my mother's boyfriends.
.i don't know how to make a move on someone because i've never had to do it before.
.once a cutter, always a cutter.
.i have seventy new scars on my thigh and i imagine that someday we will get back together and he will be angry when he finds them. but at least i will know he cares.
.i think about two things constantly: sex and murder. i don't know what that means, only that they are both extreme forms of passion.
.i'm addicted to pornography.
Author notes
<3 just a few.
A contest entry
- Postsecret by SceneQueen.
550 points, ended April 1, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
sup
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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oh and yet again
sex and murder...well yes, sex and vioelcne with me not automatically murder
I like the thought of someone beating me then raping me, it's kind of what I deserve
plus yeah I associate sex with violence or punishment soooo. -
oooh and yeah, I'm into my pornography too, which is weird as I'm a woman and most men think woman don't like that kinda things unless they're a slut. But, they call me a slut anyways so who cares.
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You're a lot like me. For a start, I had sober sex with my boyfriend this weekend but I dont' think I ever had sober sex before then. Maybe once, or twice and I've fucked about 90 times in my whole life now nearly... So, that's bad.
I used to make my barbies fuck instead too. I was the 10 year old doing Kamasutra positions instead of shopping mall trips. Eh, I was fucked up. Still am, really.
I don't take drugs though. Well, alcohol and weed but no strong stuffs. -
The last one is somthing i relate to also... Anyways thanks and good luck :]
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also
you know he cares, i've watched the signs. -
i love this. may i steal this idea? i loooove you
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damn, wish i had someone that cared about my scars
off to read more of your poems now
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