I watched
you tumble
from the thirteenth story
of your shattered mind.
And you laughed
before you made
your own chalk outline
on the pavement.
As they made you a statistic:
suicide.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow brilliant in every sense!!
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I love this as well... very intense, raw, indirect yet obvious. Brilliant combination. I feel the last couplet should be a continuation of the stanza in the previous stanza, but that's just how I read it. Except that, this is excellently written. Hope you're alright.
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Mind boggling write, my friend!
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wow, how deep and so very sad.
Exteremely powerful... -
You've written of Lynne before....there is an ache underneath these words. This piece has a spiritual tone for me. Lovely writing, though the sadness is brimming. Geo
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Wow, this is pretty deep and sad!
I love the way that you wrote this one.
Well done and thanks a lot for sharing it!
Jeremy0826
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