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I am the man of shade

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I am the man of shade, bereaved, inconsolate,

The Prince of Aquitaine, with my keep overthrown;

My only star is dead, and my zodiac'd lute

Blazoned now anew with black Melancholy’s sun.

 

In the night of the tomb, you who granted me peace,

Give me back Pausilippe, the Italian brine,

The flower that brought such joy to my heart, shorn of ease,

Or the rose-arch’s column enwrapped with grapevine.

 

Am I Love or Sun-god? Lousignan or Biron?

My temples reddened still by kisses from the Queen,

Here by the Siren’s sea-cave pool I had a dream…

 

As a conqueror twice, I have crossed Acheron,

Modulating in turn, on the Orphean lyre,

All the sighs of the Saint, and the elf-maiden’s cry!

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

(translation of “El Desdichado” by Gérard de Nerval)

 

Please follow this link for author's notes and the original:

 

http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2345437

 

 

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • Your talents of multi-faceted, as this terrific translation reveals.


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    April 18

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    Hoodwinked!

    What a brilliantly rich piece full of emotion and imagery that makes you consider the meaning, and visualise the scene.

    Excellent use of word choice to create emotion in your piece.

    Sorry that I am late with the hoodwink!
    Shari

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      April 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. Can I suggest you follow the link in the author notes and have a look at my essay about translating this poem.


  • maa gold member
    March 4

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    this sonnet is absolutely stunning, nerval would blush would he meet you !


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      March 4
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      It was stunning in the original French - believe me, Marion, this is a pale shadow!


  • Tirrell
    February 19
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    a beautiful poem. I am struck by the imagery.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      February 19
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. The imagery is all there in the original, deeply personal, deeply symbolic.

  • Purrsanthema
    February 12

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    Is the drawing from a Book of Hours? What a wonderful title and opening! How appropriate to use Alexandrines! I love the beginning of line 5 " In the night of the tomb" and "you who granted me peace" I love how you've handled the rhythm. "The flower that brought such joy to my heart" I love the tone of voice you got in this phrase.(Soryr I say " you got" all the time :What can I say!? I'm a Chicago girl!) This is probably off the wall but is there any other en word that you could use besides enwrapped in line 8? Am I Love or Sun-god" Touche! "As conqueror twice I have crossed Acheron" Beautiful! What was it that I think it was Robert Frost said in despair about translations? As in the poetry is lost in translation. Bravo! What a wonderful job!

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      February 13
      Edit | Reply
      The drawing is from the Marseilles Tarot pack. Line 2 has always suggested that image to me. Alexandrines just seem to be the right thing for French poetry, and are there as the basic structure of the original.

      "Enwrapped" - I actually wanted that sound, as a play on the word "enrapt"


  • Sylvyrwyng gold member
    February 12

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    Awesome but not fully apprecaited by myself as it should have been. I am saving this one and coming back to reread and try again later.


  • Amera gold member
    February 12

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    Pretty good I think; I didn’t see the original. I have read numerous translations by Vera Rich and I can see the work that it entails. It just seems like too much work to me to try to duplicate words that have a significant meaning in one language and not the other. I understand that when translating one should try to translate the idea rather than original words but that seems like tedious work. I commend you for your efforts and as always bow down to your genius.

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      February 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Sis. Follow the link to the column, and you'll find the original and my notes about translating it.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    February 12

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    Well I know nothing about how good it is as a translation of course
    But as a poem on its own merits, works for me!

    Not Bad


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    February 12
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    Nicely done!


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      February 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I thought it was about time I moved this from the column to the poetry section.

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