Am I A Dumbass?

1. What's your name?
Dave is preferable or David

2. Whats your favorite color? (Black is not accepted)
green

3. Whats your favorite thing to color?
the wall

4. How old are you?
24

5. Are you from Turkey?
no but i might be made of turrkey

6. What would you do if I told you I were a lesbian?
i'd be impressed

7. What is your impression on Futons?
pieces of shit. last one i was on shattered

8. What do you think of Low-Fat Milk?
putrid

9. How much more water would the ocean have if it didn't have sponges?
the same

10. Why do psychics ask your name?
cause they stupid

11. What's your definition of a biff?
crashing a bike

12. What's your definition of a taint?
that chunk of skin near your butthole

13. What's your favorite T.V. show?
M.A.S.H

14. Would you ever find yourself to be in love with Bob Saget?
only if i was homo

15. After eating do Amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
they dont i dont think

16. The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get?
a stick

17. Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?
i wonder about that at night

18. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
yes but it's ill adivised

19. Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
they should

20. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
yes

21. Have you ever wondered?
all the time

22. Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"
a sick perverted fag

23. Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
iunno lets find out and castrate or behead said person

24. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
i concede the point

25. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
cause they aint really "psychic"

26. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
twisted logics?

27. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
why bother lethal injection just blast em with a cannonball to the chest that'll settle it

28. Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the weekends?


29. If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?
i would presume not but then again i dont drive

30. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
whats a gynecologist

31. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
they should call it Admitting Alcoholicism

32. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
to keep Dracula away

33. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
i dont know.

34. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
iunno

35. Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
they totally should

36. Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
cause he's a pervert

37. What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
Satan Bless You?

38. What do people in China call their good plates?
Cantonese?

39. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
i think they throw jade

40. If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
cause shes a stuck up cunthor

41. Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
to warn of the potential for "special needs" in amongst the "normal"?