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Bound

Tendrils of tendons
fibers of flesh,
search out the pulse
winding throughout
my veins.

Feathery vines tether
my soul in chains
tendrils of flesh
entangled
with the natural world.

A moan escapes
my parched dry lips,
thirst burns anguished
like salted wounds,
a grating growl.

My bones are sucked dry
of marrow,
in realms of decay
I am lost, and thirsting
for you.

Burning
on winds of heated salt
I sift in the ashes
and sigh into eternal winds.

Author notes

option seven

A contest entry

Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • oldpoets
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    You write with very strong words that arouse emotion. I liked the repetion some how that holds the rreader to your words. I have started to use more repetion within my own work.


  • sideways hourglass
    February 15

    Edit | Reply
    This has a lot of potential. I really do like this. With some editing in which you remove repetitive images [flesh and tendrils], you'll have yourself a solid poem. Thanks for the entry.


    • Tirrell
      February 19

      Edit | Reply
      Well, there are reasons for everything, I for one believe some repition can be good. "Any word you need to look up in the thesauraus is the wrong word."--Stephen King It all comes down to personal choice, for me it feels right.

      • sideways hourglass
        February 19
        Edit | Reply
        Oh, ignore the boot camp part. I thought you were entering the X Factor contest.
        my bad.


        And hey, if you haven't already, you ought to check it out! It should be up on my page.

      • sideways hourglass
        February 19
        Edit | Reply
        Well, we all have our personal beliefs, so I mean, yeah I respect your point of view.

        And I do agree with you, however in this poem I didn't find the repetition effective. And looking in a thesauraus isn't a bad thing. Sometimes we need to expand our vocabulary to find not a good word, but the perfect word. That's how I see it.

        See you at boot camp.

        [ironic how that is actually a good thing. lol!]


  • Mistress Leala silver member
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, to me it feels as if you are in torment, anguish, needing that one person; but never truly having them as you dissipate into the wind. Fabulous write, no matter.

1 - 6 of 6