I got's a million of 'em
depends on who i's talkin' too.2. Whats your favorite color? (Black is not accepted)
RED
3. Whats your favorite thing to color?
My Walls
4. How old are you?
None of your #%@&$@# business,
5. Are you from Turkey?
Not according to the lady that I call ma
6. What would you do if I told you I were a lesbian?
Give you a careful hug, say howdy,
7. What is your impression on Futons?
They suck, they're hard to put together, uncomfortable, and my impression
usually looks somewhat like my ass.
8. What do you think of Low-Fat Milk?
Tastes like someone already drank it once,
9. How much more water would the ocean have if it didn't have sponges?
ahhhhhhhhh, give the sponges a break, they're just suckin' up to the ocean to stay
alive.
10. Why do psychics ask your name?
weeeeeeelllllllll, they probleeeee forgot to check you out 'for you got there.
11. What's your definition of a biff?
a buffed butt.
12. What's your definition of a taint?
It explains what 'taint so
13. What's your favorite T.V. show?
House
14. Would you ever find yourself to be in love with Bob Saget?
15. After eating do Amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Only if they mind their mothers.
16. The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get?
He'd of caught the fox if he hadn't stopped to
17. Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?
Only if you take them out to go skinny dipping with the folks on the next dumbass
question.
18. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
yeah...but the sponges get pissed.
19. Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
No, they're crooks just like the rest of the world, unless the corpse happens
to have an authentic burn notice with detailed descriptions of how, what, when,
where, and why.
20. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Only in their soup.
21. Have you ever wondered?
Right now I'm wondering why I decided to enter this here dumbass
questionaire,
22. Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!" Festus, from Gunsmoke.
23. Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
Speech therap[ists]
24. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? They are! Ever heard of Road Rage?
25. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
They keep themselves anonymous so other psychics won't know where they hid
the cash.
26. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
This is a killer question
27. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
well, jeese, we don't wanna see the poor fella get an infection, now do we??
28. Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the
weekends? Men conspired this in order to use suggestive thought permission.
29. If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?
Yes, in case Jethro Bodine is behind you.
30. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
In case your a fat skinny dipper.
31. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
because if they knew the truth nobody would join, then how would the
alcoholic therapists make a living ?
32. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Well, jeese, we don't want them messing up the graveyard, now do we?
33. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
Wishful thinking.
34. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
Denial, you don't really want your friends to know who's hanging out with you.
35. Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
because then everyone would want one.
36. Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
To hide what the feathers are up too.
37. What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
I bless you,
38. What do people in China call their good plates?
American grafitti.
39. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
No, Macaroni.
40. If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
To keep Ken company while Barbie is busy taking a bath, cooking, swimming,
or driving in her pink caddy, and she's a closet lesbian, and it's just a nice thing to do
41. Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
Kids are obstinate, they always do the exact opposite that grownups imply.
This completes the dumbass questionaire.
My turn: After this contest has been read, judged, and commented on,
how many words have you read ? Are you still sane? Will you be dumbass enough
to do it again???
This was a blast,
Loved the questions. 
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