"I watch him
in front of a naked moon
slipping from shrouds of discontent,
while skies yearn to cry hallelujah.
Moon after moon
he waits in silent solitude,
as if listening to my soliloquy
of what was
and will be again,
when Selene
shows me
the dark side
of eternity".
Author notes
Option3
A contest entry
- prose & free verse by traffic light.
550 points, ended February 23, 2009, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You have some nice imagery in here. One thing I noticed that was distracting was the quotation: you never closed it. It kind of threw off the poem a bit, like, my brian wanted to close the quote, but it never happened, so the write seemed a bit incomplete. Besides that though, what you have here is still lovely. Thanks for the entry.
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Hi. oops sorry have done it now.
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You know I think the only thing you don't need here is in the first line 'stand' it's not necessary, I think the image of 'I watch him, in front of a naked moon' is a very strong image and has no need of whether he sits or stands...leave your reader the tease and pleasure of how
C
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Beautiful write, love the final lines, nice dark imagery.
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You picked a winner and wrote a stunner on it.
Im always pleased to read your poetry.
This one is no exeption to that rule.
Beatifully written indeed.
Best to you always.
Tony
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I must agree with Sonja. Consistantly an abled creative bent shines through you works. And this piece is no exception to that rule.
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You can't disappoint me with your poetry. You can't... Beautiful pictures, no matter if you write of sun or darkness.
~Sonja~
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