i cant believe she did that to you
sent you an email that tore you in two
said she would rather you were dead
the phone call from the boys filled me with dread
i love you i thought you did too
i hope she doesn't cause you to do
something stupid and not come back
not come home alive from Iraq
i don't know what i would do
if i lost you too
one day slowly passes
as the question masses
does he really love me?
or does he still love her? we'll see...
two days go by
i watch as life passes me by
the third day tumbles around
i dreamt that he drowned
the fourth day struts past
ever been by your mind harassed?
five days go by
God don't let him die!
is he okay?
has his mind led him astray?
the sixth day
do you really feel betrayed?
I'm still here waiting for you!
trying so hard not to be blue
seven days go by
eight days go by
why haven't i heard from anyone?
the schools clock
ticks and tocks
as the ninth day goes by
time seems to drag forever on by
the phone goes...
my mind and heart froze
is he okay? is everything alright?
i will never know. death won the fight.
Author notes
my bf x gurl sent him an email the other day and its eating him inside cause he still cares for her but hes realized that nothings going to come of them and moved on...sorta..
this is the out come that's running through my head i hope its the opposite that comes about though...
A contest entry
- Easy as Pie by Cyanide Dreams.
3250 points, ended April 17, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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thats really frustrating to hear about (the whole e-mail thing) i sure as hell think hes better without her
but anyway, i thought this poem was great, could have better flow, but the emotion is amazing in it, awesome job and keep up the great workk
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Omg that's horrible!! I hate girls like that!! Knowing what there unstable minds are like in Iraq and she sends a bogus email!! How ignorant!! I know its driving you nuts!! I totally understand the feel!!
Keep ur head up to the fullest as you can!! Support him in every way!! August is not that far away, I do know it feels like eternity to you!! Be positive!!
There is good structure in this poem!! So much pain and emotion you shared with us!!
Need to talk,or need someone to listen, I'm always on here!!
**Much love and Respect, *kelsi**
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That's horrible of your friend. I hope this got out of your system and that the outcome is good. Now on to the critique. The imagery and emotion in this poem is really good. The flow wasn't all that great though and if you're looking for a true critique I'd suggest you'd take a look at some of that to make it flow better. I really really liked the emotion of this though. Thanks for entering and good luck.
Josh
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email her and tell her she's dead to him!
i hate that!!! i don't know how to reply when it's so awkward that it's almost like part of your heart that you gave to that ex is now dead if that makes sense. is your boy in iraq
that's terrible. the short lines work cuz it makes the poem speed up as it's read racing to the end
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i wish i could i dont know her...she lives in ny i live in tx...yeah hes over there right now and he is scheduled to come back in august...so close to being home! thanks...
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