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Random Rhyme2

Rippin and ryhmin and steadily grindin
Flossin and glossin shinin like diamonds
Lost in life's flow
And I forgot what the time is
Often feel tired,beaten and pissed
This shits not easy I'm no fuckin whiz
But fuck you anyway I'ma keep on trying
Till my last breath when this man's dying
Always applying and never denying
My life's ambition to soar high and take flight
I wont ask your permission I'll just snatch up the mic

Cause this is my mission and my predisposition

To seek out oppoition and amass ammunitions

Roll up on positions and commence demolitions

With the silenced shotty like a surgical physician

Takin out competition like a mothafucking technician

Kidnapping niggas like opperation rendition

With a body count so high you need a mathematician

Through my inhibitions pullin tricks like magicians
Disappearing acts while distorting the facts
This is part one,wait there's two acts


Try to live in the now,not the past
Takin it slow not movin to fast
Smokin fat bong loads and takin a blast
Sweet purple kush that kicks my ass
Eyes haze over and become glassed
Colors fade out with loss of contrast
The joy I've amassed from smokin this grass
And spendin time with Mary Jane's sweet ass

Will never be surpassed

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Umi Juvariel
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    Nice rhymes here, both internal and external. They really help this piece flow. I think the person below me was a little too harsh in the things they had to say. I think your word usage with just fine. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


  • Run Rhen Run
    March 19
    Edit | Reply

    EEW.

    i like how you got your feelings out, but i do not like the content and some of the word usage! that makes the peice YUCKY! i look for feeling in a good peice, and well, you do have feeling, but it seems like your feeling was more on your sleeve than in your heart.


  • Blue30
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the rhyming scheme in this poem. You convey powerful emotions and I liked your vivid word choices.


  • Dead creature
    February 22
    Edit | Reply
    Your poem is good
    keep it up!! would love to read more Sweetie

    xoxo
    vivian-


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    being as i am in recovery, this was not my thing. but to each his own. you have a few punctuation errors, that if fixed would make this read better. thank you for sharing this with me today. viyanna rosemarie

  • aaaaaaaa
    February 15
    Edit | Reply
    it's like a rhyme that never ends, each lines just fades into the other and it keeps going and going without losing steam. Great job. This is like a rap song or something.

    "Cause this is my mission and my predisposition

    To seek out oppoition and amass ammunitions"

    ^ nice.

    Eyes haze over and become glassed
    Colors fade out with loss of contrast

    ^ good stuff here too.


  • BriannaBrumfield
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    I found this poem using the Random tool and I'm glad I did.

    Killer cadence. I'm not really a big fan of most rhyme, but you do it in a way that isn't boring and I appreciate that as a reader.

    I'd love to see some multisyllabic rhymes once it's finished.

    I'm feeling Mary Jane myself right now, but on the real, I look forward to coming back and rereading this.



  • PoJonez
    February 10

    Edit | Reply

    Fucking Sublime

    yes, this is definately a good style for you, it seems to flow as steady as your darkness. can feel the passion. and for real, fuck anyone who disagrees with me because I am right, always will be. Fucking own this shit, bro.

1 - 8 of 8